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Author Topic: A touch of humor  (Read 224773 times)

Jeremy Roussak

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PeterAit

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #981 on: January 26, 2020, 11:55:32 am »

Told by a guest speaker at our church just before the collection.

A couple is driving home from church on a Sunday morning, with their young daughter in the back seat. They are complaining about the church: boring sermon, music not to their liking, and so on. The daughter pipes up "What do you expect for a dollar?"
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Peter

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drmike

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #982 on: February 04, 2020, 11:44:10 am »

A man goes to hell ...

There the devil tells him that there are different hells. He goes around checking to find the least painful one.

First, he comes to the American hell. He asks the devil what is the punishment. The devil replies, "You have to lay on a bed of nails for 12 hours and then the American devil will whip you for another 12 hours."

Then he comes to the Russian hell. He asks the devil what is the punishment. The devil replies, "You have to lay on a bed of nails for 12 hours and then the Russian devil will whip you for another 12 hours."

He notices a long queue behind Chinese hell. He thought it would be easier and asks the devil what is the punishment. The devil replies, "You have to lay on a bed of nails for 12 hours and then the Chinese devil will whip you for another 12 hours."

He asks why there are so many people behind it. The devil says, "Well, the bed of nails is made in China and will break within 1 hour."

"And the devil?"

The devil replies,"He has been coughing lately."
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Jeremy Roussak

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #983 on: February 06, 2020, 03:33:21 pm »

This may have been posted here before, but it chimed with me today.

Jeremy
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RSL

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #984 on: February 06, 2020, 04:09:08 pm »

 ;D ;D 8) :o
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Eric Myrvaagnes

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #985 on: February 06, 2020, 04:57:46 pm »

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Peter McLennan

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #986 on: February 07, 2020, 12:01:31 am »

+2 !
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LesPalenik

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #987 on: February 12, 2020, 12:03:52 am »

Redcrown

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #988 on: February 12, 2020, 02:04:28 am »

Stolen from Facebook....

A cowboy moved to Montana from Texas. He walks into a bar and orders three mugs of beer.

He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers, one in Arizona, the other in Colorado. When we left Texas we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."

The bartender says it's a nice custom, and leaves it there. The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I'd like to offer my condolences on your loss."

The cowboy looks puzzled for a moment, then he smiles and laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains. "It's just that my wife made me join the Baptist Church with her and I had to quit drinking."

ďIt hasn't affected my brothers though."
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PeterAit

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #989 on: February 24, 2020, 12:38:21 pm »

Take a Baptist fishing and he'll drink most of the beer. Take two Baptists fishing and they won't touch a drop.
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Peter

"Nothing spoils fun like finding out it builds character." -- Calvin (and Hobbes)

Redcrown

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #990 on: February 25, 2020, 11:31:02 pm »

NASA scientists have proven that, in theory, if you run in a tight circle at the speed of light you could screw yourself. However, since nobody can run that fast, they offer that it would be much easier to just vote Democratic in the next election.
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Rob C

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #991 on: February 26, 2020, 09:42:31 am »

NASA scientists have proven that, in theory, if you run in a tight circle at the speed of light you could screw yourself. However, since nobody can run that fast, they offer that it would be much easier to just vote Democratic in the next election.

Again proving that Britain England is ahead of you: it already screwed itself on the 31st of January, 2020.

PeterAit

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #992 on: March 04, 2020, 08:50:38 am »

I had to chuckle...
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Peter

"Nothing spoils fun like finding out it builds character." -- Calvin (and Hobbes)

Eric Myrvaagnes

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #993 on: March 04, 2020, 01:06:46 pm »

I had to chuckle...
Me too. But if it were my pie, the sections would be reversed.
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Rob C

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #994 on: March 04, 2020, 02:45:59 pm »

Me too. But if it were my pie, the sections would be reversed.

Had my late wife made it, there would be no pie to observe and measure.

:-(

JoeKitchen

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #995 on: March 16, 2020, 06:20:08 pm »

A guy I went to high school just posted this.    :D
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armand

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #996 on: March 17, 2020, 02:06:09 am »

A guy I went to high school just posted this.    :D

Funny!

armand

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #997 on: March 17, 2020, 02:08:01 am »

Sorry Trump supporters but this video about the current Coronavirus situation itís too funny to keep it just for me: https://youtu.be/Hks6Nq7g6P4

Frans Waterlander

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #998 on: March 17, 2020, 12:27:21 pm »

Sorry Trump supporters but this video about the current Coronavirus situation itís too funny to keep it just for me: https://youtu.be/Hks6Nq7g6P4
Funny?
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Eric Myrvaagnes

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #999 on: March 17, 2020, 12:57:04 pm »

Sorry Trump supporters but this video about the current Coronavirus situation itís too funny to keep it just for me: https://youtu.be/Hks6Nq7g6P4
Yes, Painful but funny.
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