Democrat Nomination for President

[Alan Klein]

What questions might those be, Alan?  (Or <insert usual suspects here>)?

He says he has a husband.  What does that mean? Is his husband his alter ego? Who am I voting for? Him or his husband? Is he really his own man?  Is he a leader?  Americans expect their presidents to lead, to be in charge.    Kennedy faced similar issues with the Catholic church.   To become president,  he had to put those issues to rest.   

This is all new to most Americans.   I commend him for acting natural and open about himself in public.   But people are still concerned about a dynamic they may not understand.  He'll have to go the extra mile to put it to rest. Thinking everyone is ok with it will cost him the nomination. 

[kers]

He says he has a husband.  What does that mean? Is his husband his alter ego? Who am I voting for? Him or his husband? Is he really his own man?  Is he a leader?  Americans expect their presidents to lead, to be in charge.    Kennedy faced similar issues with the Catholic church.   To become president,  he had to put those issues to rest.   

Don't be silly, please! 
So do I understand that you could never vote for a women... ? because she cannot lead, unlike her husband ...

This is all new to most Americans.   I commend him for acting natural and open about himself in public.   But people are still concerned about a dynamic they may not understand.  He'll have to go the extra mile to put it to rest. Thinking everyone is ok with it will cost him the nomination.

NEW? as old as mankind, but not accepted or even  acknowledged in too many countries.

[Slobodan Blagojevic]

... as old as mankind, but not accepted or even  acknowledged in too many countries.

Hmmm... I wonder why?

[LesPalenik]

He says he has a husband.  What does that mean? Is his husband his alter ego? Who am I voting for? Him or his husband? Is he really his own man?  Is he a leader?  Americans expect their presidents to lead, to be in charge.    Kennedy faced similar issues with the Catholic church.   To become president,  he had to put those issues to rest.   

This is all new to most Americans.   I commend him for acting natural and open about himself in public.   But people are still concerned about a dynamic they may not understand.  He'll have to go the extra mile to put it to rest. Thinking everyone is ok with it will cost him the nomination.

You don't vote for Pete's husband or their dog.
Is your wife your alter ego? If a wife bosses her husband around, is he his own man? Is he a leader in the house or only when dancing tango on weekends?
As to the religion, that should be kept out of the politics, unless you like the Iranian model of government.
 
Dynamics are overrated. Most Americans understand dynamics of their income taxes and dynamics of dropping a bomb on a hostile country. Maybe also dynamics of a bad meal.

[Slobodan Blagojevic]

You don't vote for Pete's husband or their dog.
Is your wife your alter ego? If a wife bosses her husband around, is he his own man? Is he a leader in the house or only when dancing tango on weekends?...

Hehehe... the Obamas come to mind 

[LesPalenik]

Hehehe... the Obamas come to mind 

Or Clintons. Sometimes, a different arrangement might work better.

[Bart_van_der_Wolf]

Hmmm... I wonder why?

Dunno, narrow-mindedness?

[Alan Klein]

You don't vote for Pete's husband or their dog.
Is your wife your alter ego? If a wife bosses her husband around, is he his own man? Is he a leader in the house or only when dancing tango on weekends?
As to the religion, that should be kept out of the politics, unless you like the Iranian model of government.
 
Dynamics are overrated. Most Americans understand dynamics of their income taxes and dynamics of dropping a bomb on a hostile country. Maybe also dynamics of a bad meal.

Well I'd be more comfortable if he was the husband.   Of course,  being the wife he'd be breaking the glass ceiling.

[James Clark]

Well I'd be more comfortable if he was the husband.   Of course,  being the wife he'd be breaking the glass ceiling.

Do you know many gay couples?  I don't know any that subscribe to such a rigid social dynamic.

[Alan Klein]

Do you know many gay couples?  I don't know any that subscribe to such a rigid social dynamic.

What do you mean?

[James Clark]

What do you mean?

None of the gay couples I know really present themselves in distinct, traditional "husband/wife" roles or mannerisms.  I'm just curious as to whether your experience is different. 

[Robert Roaldi]

Hmmm... I wonder why?

Why are you so afraid of gay people?

[Robert Roaldi]

That type of comment was perhaps remotely funny the first time. Now it is just yawn-inducing.

I don't know what you mean by funny. It's not funny, it's right on point.

[Alan Klein]

None of the gay couples I know really present themselves in distinct, traditional "husband/wife" roles or mannerisms.  I'm just curious as to whether your experience is different. 

I don;t know any couples who are gay other than I know some people who are gay who have partners.  But nothing more than that.  So OK.  If there are no distinct husband/wife roles, how do they decide who's who.  And why even apply those nouns rather than just "partner"?

[Robert Roaldi]

If there are no distinct husband/wife roles, how do they decide who's who.

What?

[JoeKitchen]

I hate to get involved in such a pointless conversation, but Alan, you are thinking about this way too much.  I don't think anyone really cares.  Or should I say the amount of people in this country that would vote against mayor Pete just because he is gay is probably just as large as the amount of people who voted against Obama because he was black.  Frankly, there are probably some, but not enough to make a difference. 

Second, every gay couple I know refers to each other as husband and every lesbian couple I know refers to each other as wife.  There are no specific roles they happen to play, or at least I have never met a couple that has. 

The only time where gender roles may be important would be if the couple was raising a child.  Men and women raise and interact with children differently, and there is a lot of evidence children need both types of parenting to develop properly.  In this instance, there may be a need to decide who plays what role, but beyond this, it does not matter.  I don't believe Mayor Pete has any children, so this does not apply to him anyway. 

Last, for the love of God, can we stop using the word partner for anything else then business partner!  We are in the 21st century, just say husband or wife (or boyfriend or girlfriend).  Saying partner just confuses the hell out of people, especially for people like me who happen to work a lot with business owners. 

One of my clients is a firm owned by two women and whenever I refer to them as partners to someone new, I get blank stares and need to both explain that they are not lesbians (and are actually married to their own husbands) and that, just like men, women can form partnerships too.  It is quite annoying. 

[James Clark]

I don;t know any couples who are gay other than I know some people who are gay who have partners.  But nothing more than that.  So OK.  If there are no distinct husband/wife roles, how do they decide who's who.  And why even apply those nouns rather than just "partner"?

"Partner" does just fine in the case of unmarrieds.  Or, both guys are "husband" / both women are "wife."   I'm also not following how this would be any different depending on terminology.  In my household, the words "husband" and "wife" have no bearing on assignment of obligations. 

Edit:  What Joe said, except I don't get bent about "partner."   In my company I introduce my employee/colleague as my "partner" as a matter of respect (and to lend him some authority), and I guess some people could mistake that for a personal relationship, but whatever.

[Alan Klein]

Well, if there seems to be some confusion by people here who have experience with gay couples, imagine people who have none?  That';s the point I was making.  When you're not familiar with what's going on, you imagine all sorts of things.  That's natural.  So anything a gay candidate does to to reduce the confusions, the oddness, the unknowing, is going to help them in an election. 

Just like Kennedy had to explain that just because he was Catholic, he was not getting instructions from the Pope.  MAny people didn't know the dynamic of that relationship and today many people don;t know the dynamic of gay relationships.  Understand them takes the fear out of it.  Telling people they shouldn't worry about it is not the path to victory. 

[Alan Klein]

I hate to get involved in such a pointless conversation, but Alan, you are thinking about this way too much.  I don't think anyone really cares.  Or should I say the amount of people in this country that would vote against mayor Pete just because he is gay is probably just as large as the amount of people who voted against Obama because he was black.  Frankly, there are probably some, but not enough to make a difference. 

Second, every gay couple I know refers to each other as husband and every lesbian couple I know refers to each other as wife.  There are no specific roles they happen to play, or at least I have never met a couple that has. 

The only time where gender roles may be important would be if the couple was raising a child.  Men and women raise and interact with children differently, and there is a lot of evidence children need both types of parenting to develop properly.  In this instance, there may be a need to decide who plays what role, but beyond this, it does not matter.  I don't believe Mayor Pete has any children, so this does not apply to him anyway. 

Last, for the love of God, can we stop using the word partner for anything else then business partner!  We are in the 21st century, just say husband or wife (or boyfriend or girlfriend).  Saying partner just confuses the hell out of people, especially for people like me who happen to work a lot with business owners. 

One of my clients is a firm owned by two women and whenever I refer to them as partners to someone new, I get blank stares and need to both explain that they are not lesbians (and are actually married to their own husbands) and that, just like men, women can form partnerships too.  It is quite annoying. 

I didn't know that.  I didn't realize that they are both husbands.  Did I get that right?  I use to think that if a guy said someone was his husband, the other guy would say that the first guy us his wife.  And I'm from NYC.  If I don;t understand this, imagine the rest of the country? 

What if they are legally married?  Does the law require one or the other to take a gender role?  So that one is a husband and the other a wife?  What if they want to adopt?   (One is listed as the father and the other is listed as the mother?) Same question. 

[LesPalenik]

Alan, I second Joe's motion that you are overthinking this.

The politicians are elected not based on their sexual preferences, and whether they prefer to be on top or bottom (and even in the heterosexual relationships some women like to play the dominant role), but to do things like rising and lowering taxes, cutting ribbons and pretending putting shovels into the ground, and dropping bombs on the bad guys.

Whether they are called husbands, wives, or partners is completely irrelevant. Actually, I'd find it much more offending if a woman called me honey or sweetie.