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Author Topic: A touch of humor  (Read 251443 times)

Chairman Bill

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1360 on: December 15, 2020, 12:18:34 pm »

My pet stick insects have had sex and nearly burned the house down

Jeremy Roussak

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1361 on: December 15, 2020, 03:35:43 pm »

My pet stick insects have had sex and nearly burned the house down

"Do you smoke after sex?"

"I don't know. I've never looked."

Jeremy
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Alan Klein

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1362 on: December 15, 2020, 08:41:11 pm »

Alan Klein

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1363 on: December 17, 2020, 10:25:38 am »

As we Silver Surfers know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers. Yesterday, I had a problem, so I called Georgie, the 11-year-old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over.
 
Georgie clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong? He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.' I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired - An ID ten T error? What's that in case I need to fix it again?
 
Georgie grinned . “Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before”? “No,” I replied.  ”Write it down” he said, “and I think you'll figure it out.” 
 
So, I wrote down:  ID10T.

Peter McLennan

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1364 on: December 17, 2020, 02:46:18 pm »

Also known as a "PEBKAS" error.

Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Screen.
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Jeremy Roussak

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1365 on: December 18, 2020, 04:28:09 am »

Also known as a "PEBKAS" error.

Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Screen.

More commonly, PEBKAC (last word Chair); there's not much between the keyboard and the screen in most setups.

Also PICNIC (Problem In Chair Not In Computer).

Jeremy
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Eric Myrvaagnes

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1366 on: December 18, 2020, 10:55:37 am »

I find myself having many PICNICs these days.
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Redcrown

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1367 on: December 18, 2020, 12:00:47 pm »

Another, but different kind of ID Ten T
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Jeremy Roussak

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1368 on: January 10, 2021, 02:25:54 pm »

An older Jewish man marries a younger woman. After several months, the young woman complained that she had never climaxed during sex and by birthright, all Jewish women are entitled to at least one orgasm during sex.

So they go to see the rabbi.

The rabbi tells them to get a young, strong, virile young man to wave a towel over them while they are having sex: this, the rabbi says, will cause the woman to climax. So the couple try it. After several attempts, still no climax. They go back to the rabbi.

The rabbi suggests the bride change partners and have the virile young man have sex with her while the husband waves the towel. They try it that night and the young woman goes into wild, screaming earsplitting climaxes, one after the other.

When it is over, the husband smugly looks down at the young man and says "You see, schmuck, THAT's how you wave a towel!"
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PeterAit

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1369 on: January 12, 2021, 04:49:17 pm »

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation.  After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with God’s divine will.

At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistry.  The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistry and let the squirrels drown themselves.  The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim, so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creatures.  So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist church.  Two weeks later, the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.

The Episcopalians tried a much more unique path by setting out pans of whiskey around their church in an effort to kill the squirrels with alcohol poisoning.  They sadly learned how much damage a band of drunk squirrels can do.

But the Catholic church came up with a more creative strategy!  They baptized all the squirrels and made them members of the church.  Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard from the synagogue.  They took the first squirrel and circumcised him.  They haven’t seen a squirrel since.
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Peter

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Petrus

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1370 on: January 13, 2021, 01:57:23 pm »

A client of mine got hired to design a new Indian Motorcycle dealership.  As is usually the case, they hung their credentials and name on the job site fence at the beginning of the project, long before you could tell what the place was going to be. 

The owner, who is a hand full, had a huge banner sign printed saying, "The Indians Are Coming!" and hung it across the fence.  My client got angry phone calls non-stop for months.

Here in Helsinki a gun shop window was sprayed with "HUNTING IS MURDER!!", so the owner added "AND HERE YOU GET THE RIGHT TOOLS FOR IT!" below.
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Chairman Bill

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1371 on: January 18, 2021, 12:35:01 pm »

Next door's kids are ill and I've spent half the day listening to them loudly vomiting. I ended up banging on the wall telling them to keep it down.

Jeremy Roussak

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1372 on: January 28, 2021, 06:23:21 pm »

.

Jeremy
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Eric Myrvaagnes

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1373 on: January 28, 2021, 06:57:53 pm »

Good one, Jeremy.
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Redcrown

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Butts over 65
« Reply #1374 on: January 29, 2021, 11:27:12 am »

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Robert Roaldi

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1375 on: January 29, 2021, 02:25:39 pm »

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Redcrown

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1376 on: January 30, 2021, 01:01:06 am »

Not exactly humour in the joke sense but still funny, I thought https://www.ctvnews.ca/world/would-be-wisconsin-thieves-thwarted-by-manual-car-police-say-1.4624390.
Years ago this old American rented a car in Germany at the airport. It was a manual - no problem, I grew up on manuals. But I could not figure out how to get that car into reverse in order to back out of the parking space. After several failed minutes I got out and grabbed the first German looking guy that came by. I don't remember exactly, but it was some combination of putting the stick in neutral, pushing it straight down, giving it a 1/4 turn, then pulling it in the only angle it would go.

A few years later, wife and I rented a manual car in Ireland. First time sitting and driving on the wrong side for both of us. I had no problem, but the wife simply could not shift with her left hand. When she drove, I had to do the shifting from the passenger seat. We got pretty good at it.
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Robert Roaldi

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1377 on: January 30, 2021, 10:07:27 am »



A few years later, wife and I rented a manual car in Ireland. First time sitting and driving on the wrong side for both of us. I had no problem, but the wife simply could not shift with her left hand. When she drove, I had to do the shifting from the passenger seat. We got pretty good at it.

Imagine if they reversed the pedal placement.
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Peter McLennan

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1378 on: January 30, 2021, 10:45:52 am »

I rented a manual shift camper in NZ.  Most stressful driving I can recall. EVERYTHING was backasswards, even the seatbelt went the wrong way.
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PeterAit

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1379 on: February 04, 2021, 06:16:31 pm »

I rented a manual shift camper in NZ.  Most stressful driving I can recall. EVERYTHING was backasswards, even the seatbelt went the wrong way.

I well remember driving in NZ. Just a car, not a camper. We (wife and me) did OK largely due to the fact that we had one driver and one spotter! And to the very gentle traffic there.

And I'd like to go back. Some of my best photos came from that trip.
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Peter

"You are entitled to your own opinion but not your own facts" -- D.P. Moynihan
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