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Author Topic: A touch of humor  (Read 235176 times)

Robert Roaldi

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1340 on: October 14, 2020, 07:33:16 am »

I agree. I've moved it.

[later - I would have moved it, had I been able to, but as I can't, I haven't]

Jeremy

Well ok, given the reaction I would have deleted it but someone beat me to it. I thought it was funny, political sure, but funny.
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Robert

Jeremy Roussak

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1341 on: October 14, 2020, 01:33:36 pm »

Large dog walks into pub, places front legs on bar and orders a pint.

Barman says “Wow - a talking dog! You should join the circus”.

Dog says “Why? Are they looking for an accountant?”

Jeremy
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Robert Roaldi

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1342 on: October 14, 2020, 03:22:49 pm »

A three-legged dog walks into a bar, pulls out a gun and says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
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Robert

PeterAit

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1343 on: October 21, 2020, 10:50:16 am »

A guy was given some venison by a friend and was grilling it for dinner. His young son Billy asked what kind of meat it was. As his kids thought deer were cute he beat around the bush. "It's something your mom calls me every day."

"Yikes Billy," piped up the daughter, "Don't eat it. It's an asshole."
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Peter

"You are entitled to your own opinion but not your own facts" -- D.P. Moynihan

jeremyrh

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1344 on: October 21, 2020, 12:08:05 pm »

A ship goes down in shark-infested waters and all but one of the passengers are eaten.  The survivor makes it to shore and is asked how come the sharks did not eat him too.

"I'm a lawyer - it was professional courtesy".
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Jeremy Roussak

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1345 on: October 21, 2020, 06:29:23 pm »

Man to lawyer: "What are your fees?"

Lawyer: "£750 for three questions."

"Isn't that rather a lot of money for just three questions?"

"Yes. What's your third question?"

Jeremy
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armand

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1346 on: October 22, 2020, 12:55:53 pm »

..

Robert Roaldi

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1347 on: October 22, 2020, 01:38:12 pm »

..

(Careful, Slobodan might accuse you of posting political humour.)
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Robert

PeterAit

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1348 on: October 25, 2020, 08:31:16 am »

I was debating whether this belong here on in the election thread. Anyway, here ya go:

The 4th grade teacher asked each kid to stand up and say what their mom or dad did for a job. She got lots of typical answers--nurse, accountant, mechanic, and so on. When it was Jimmy's turn he stood up and said "My dad is a dancer at a gay club. He takes his clothes off to music and the customers stuff money in his underwear."

The teacher is shocked. She puts the other kids to work on a project and takes Jimmy aside.

"Jimmy, is that true? Is that what your dad really does?"

Sobbing, Jimmy replies "No, but I had to make something up quick. You see, my dad works for the Republican party and is trying to get Trump re-elected, and I was too ashamed to say that."
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Peter

"You are entitled to your own opinion but not your own facts" -- D.P. Moynihan

Slobodan Blagojevic

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1349 on: October 26, 2020, 09:06:33 am »

Well, guys, keep thinking that was funny.

This, however...

armand

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1350 on: October 27, 2020, 02:36:36 pm »

..

armand

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1351 on: October 29, 2020, 08:09:47 pm »

.

armand

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1352 on: November 26, 2020, 09:33:03 am »

Tis the season

Jeremy Roussak

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1353 on: November 29, 2020, 01:12:22 pm »

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Jeremy Roussak

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1354 on: November 29, 2020, 01:14:02 pm »

.

Jeremy
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Jonathan Cross

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1355 on: Today at 04:33:47 am »

!!!!

Jonathan
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Jonathan in UK

Jeremy Roussak

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1356 on: Today at 04:50:44 am »

Excellent!

Jeremy
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Slobodan Blagojevic

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1357 on: Today at 07:14:23 am »

Plastic surgeons, rejoice:

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