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Author Topic: A touch of humor  (Read 235046 times)

Jeremy Roussak

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1280 on: May 28, 2020, 01:08:20 pm »

Let's keep this thread within the confines of its title.

Jeremy
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Frans Waterlander

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1281 on: May 29, 2020, 02:18:39 am »

I ordered 3 reams of copy/printer paper but instead they sent me 40 rolls of Angel Soft toilet paper! Inkjet printing got a whole lot weirder.
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Rob C

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1282 on: May 29, 2020, 03:29:09 am »

I ordered 3 reams of copy/printer paper but instead they sent me 40 rolls of Angel Soft toilet paper! Inkjet printing got a whole lot weirder.

Now it's Art, you see.

LesPalenik

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1283 on: May 29, 2020, 10:07:07 am »

I ordered 3 reams of copy/printer paper but instead they sent me 40 rolls of Angel Soft toilet paper! Inkjet printing got a whole lot weirder.

The ejected droplets fly at about 10 meters per second, so you'll need a good absorption capability. Although bigger particles travel a bit slower.
To photograph the droplets without a blur, you would have to shoot using an exposure time of nanoseconds.
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Peter McLennan

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1284 on: May 29, 2020, 10:23:39 am »

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, and ...

And that’s supposed to be funny?

“ Vapid” would be a more appropriate descriptor.

The centipede one still beats that, hands down.
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Slobodan Blagojevic

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1285 on: May 31, 2020, 12:46:08 pm »

A Father put his 3-year-old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, “God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa.”

The father asked, ‘Why did you say good-bye Grandpa?’

The little girl said, “I don’t know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.”

The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this, “God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma.”

The next day the grandmother died.

“Holy crap” thought the father, “this kid is in contact with the other side.”

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, “God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy.”

He practically went into shock. He couldn’t sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office.

He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch, and watched the clock He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day, he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally, midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.

When he got home his wife said, “I’ve never seen you work so late. What’s the matter?”

He said, “I don’t want to talk about it, I’ve just spent the worst day of my life.”

She said, “You think you had a bad day, you’ll never believe what happened to me. This morning my boss died in the middle of a meeting.”

Jeremy Roussak

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1286 on: May 31, 2020, 01:03:18 pm »

It's moved up to second now.

Jeremy
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Eric Myrvaagnes

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1287 on: May 31, 2020, 04:57:09 pm »

Ah! I pray to my PDF viewer several times a day.
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-Eric Myrvaagnes (visit my website: http://myrvaagnes.com)

Rob C

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1288 on: June 03, 2020, 10:55:35 am »

This may or may not be genuine, but it fell into my computer today:

Slobodan Blagojevic

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1289 on: June 03, 2020, 04:13:51 pm »

...

Rob C

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1290 on: June 03, 2020, 04:16:55 pm »

...


Excellent, and brave of you to post, all considered.

:-)

Jeremy Roussak

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1291 on: June 04, 2020, 01:03:58 pm »

I have deleted several posts. This is a thread for jokes, not vapid and pointless pseudo-political discussion. My patience with the ubiquity of political comment is wearing very thin.

Jeremy
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RSL

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1292 on: June 04, 2020, 03:06:18 pm »

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes."Boy,I'd give anything to sink this putt", the golfer mumbles to himself.
 
Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers, "Would you be willing to give up a quarter of your sex life to sink the putt?"
 
Thinking the man is crazy and his answer will be meaningless, the golfer also feels that maybe this is a good omen, so he says, "Sounds good to me," and promptly sinks the putt!
 
Two holes later, he mumbles to himself again, "Gosh, I wish I could get an eagle on this one”
 
“The same stranger is suddenly at his side again and whispers, "Would it be worth giving up another quarter of your sex life to make an eagle?
 
“Shrugging, the golfer replies, "Okay." And, amazingly, he makes the eagle.
 
On the final hole, the golfer needs another eagle to win. Without waiting for him to say anything, the stranger quickly moves to his side and says, "Would winning this match be worth giving up the rest of your sex life?"
 
"Definitely," the golfer replies, and sure enough he makes the eagle and wins the match.
 
As the golfer is walking to the club house, the stranger walks along beside him and says,"I haven't really been fair with you because you don't know who I am. I'm Satan, and from this day forward you really will have no sex life at all."
 
"Nice to meet you," the golfer replies. "I'm Father O’Malley”
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drmike

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1293 on: June 04, 2020, 05:32:54 pm »

Nice one. Didn't see that coming.
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JoeKitchen

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1294 on: June 04, 2020, 08:12:23 pm »

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes."Boy,I'd give anything to sink this putt", the golfer mumbles to himself.
 
Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers, "Would you be willing to give up a quarter of your sex life to sink the putt?"
 
Thinking the man is crazy and his answer will be meaningless, the golfer also feels that maybe this is a good omen, so he says, "Sounds good to me," and promptly sinks the putt!
 
Two holes later, he mumbles to himself again, "Gosh, I wish I could get an eagle on this one”
 
“The same stranger is suddenly at his side again and whispers, "Would it be worth giving up another quarter of your sex life to make an eagle?
 
“Shrugging, the golfer replies, "Okay." And, amazingly, he makes the eagle.
 
On the final hole, the golfer needs another eagle to win. Without waiting for him to say anything, the stranger quickly moves to his side and says, "Would winning this match be worth giving up the rest of your sex life?"
 
"Definitely," the golfer replies, and sure enough he makes the eagle and wins the match.
 
As the golfer is walking to the club house, the stranger walks along beside him and says,"I haven't really been fair with you because you don't know who I am. I'm Satan, and from this day forward you really will have no sex life at all."
 
"Nice to meet you," the golfer replies. "I'm Father O’Malley”

 ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Jeremy Roussak

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1295 on: June 05, 2020, 03:18:15 am »

Golfer drives ball into rough. Goes looking for it, finds leprechaun tangled up in weeds. Frees him. Leprechaun says "I'm very grateful; as gesture of thanks, I'll make you irresistible to women".

A year or so later, same golfer drives ball into same rough (he's not very good). Searching for it, finds same leprechaun.

"How have you been since we last met? How's the sex life?"
"It's good: I've had sex with two women."
"Two? Is that all?"
"Well, it's not bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish."
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Slobodan Blagojevic

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1296 on: June 06, 2020, 05:10:20 am »

...

Robert Roaldi

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1297 on: June 28, 2020, 02:08:37 pm »

A short painting tutorial .
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Robert

Jeremy Roussak

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1298 on: July 08, 2020, 12:17:13 pm »

Droll.

Jeremy
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Jeremy Roussak

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1299 on: July 08, 2020, 12:19:10 pm »

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