Pages: 1 ... 56 57 [58] 59 60 ... 68   Go Down

Author Topic: A touch of humor  (Read 235230 times)

Rob C

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 24074
Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1140 on: April 10, 2020, 08:50:43 am »

This is definitely a typo, unless you had in mind this:  ;)


One of Hans Feurer's best models way, way back on Lampedusa.

LesPalenik

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4216
    • advantica blog
Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1141 on: April 10, 2020, 08:52:31 am »

Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.
 
I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on ‘Wheel of Fortune’. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.
 
I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.
 
Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom
 
Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit.  Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
 
Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.
 
I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone
 
This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat.  It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog and we laughed a lot.
 
So, after this quarantine ... will the producers of ‘My 600 Pound Life’ just find me or do I find them?
 
Quarantine Day 5:  Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal.  I have no clue how this place is still in business.
 
My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.
 
Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.
 
I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?
 
I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda.  I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom.
 
Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.
 
Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".  I'm offended.
 
Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under.
Logged

Robert Roaldi

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2865
    • Robert's Photos
Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1142 on: April 10, 2020, 09:22:20 am »

This is definitely a typo, unless you had in mind this:  ;)

Oops. It's important to proofread.
Logged
--
Robert

Watermelon_seller

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 27
Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1143 on: April 10, 2020, 10:19:19 am »

Now taking bets.
Logged

JoeKitchen

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4500
Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1144 on: April 10, 2020, 12:46:23 pm »

Look at the bottom; that question really ran on CNN.   ;D
Logged
"Photography is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent

JoeKitchen

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4500
Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1145 on: April 10, 2020, 12:50:29 pm »

Sign at a liquor store in NYC. 

NSFW

Logged
"Photography is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent

armand

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4861
    • Photos
Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1146 on: April 10, 2020, 01:12:35 pm »

Sign at a liquor store in NYC. 

NSFW

Love this!

armand

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4861
    • Photos
Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1147 on: April 11, 2020, 12:31:40 am »

..

Slobodan Blagojevic

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 17254
  • When everyone thinks the same, nobody thinks
    • My website
Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1148 on: April 11, 2020, 07:53:51 am »

From Serbia's own version of The Onion and Babylon Bee:

Quote
Serbia is facing a shortage of hours for the curfew

Serbian President dispelled those rumors: "Already next Tuesday we are starting with production of new hours, we have enough capacity for that. And on Wednesday, a plane from China will bring new supply of hours necessary for the curfew..."

P.S. This weekend, we are under a 60-hour house arrest
« Last Edit: April 11, 2020, 08:54:06 am by Slobodan Blagojevic »
Logged

Rob C

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 24074
Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1149 on: April 11, 2020, 08:20:32 am »

From Serbia's own version of The Onion and Babylon Bee:

They do Trump and Borisisms well!

:-)

JoeKitchen

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4500
Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1150 on: April 11, 2020, 09:23:27 am »

Anyone else getting closer to this? 
Logged
"Photography is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent

Jeremy Roussak

  • Administrator
  • Sr. Member
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 8823
    • site
Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1151 on: April 11, 2020, 02:23:22 pm »

A priest, a rabbit and an iman walk into a bar.

The rabbit says, "I may be a typo."

The joke works a lot better if they walk into a blood bank.

Jeremy
Logged

Robert Roaldi

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2865
    • Robert's Photos
Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1152 on: April 11, 2020, 10:37:55 pm »

The joke works a lot better if they walk into a blood bank.

Jeremy

That would be like getting two jokes for the price of one.
Logged
--
Robert

PeterAit

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3654
    • Peter Aitken Photographs
Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1153 on: April 13, 2020, 04:28:12 pm »

Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.
 

And the third half, fat  :D!
Logged
Peter

"You are entitled to your own opinion but not your own facts" -- D.P. Moynihan

degrub

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1460
Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1154 on: April 13, 2020, 05:44:21 pm »

there's always three halves to every story - hers and my half. ::)
Logged

armand

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4861
    • Photos
Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1155 on: April 13, 2020, 07:06:04 pm »

A Putin adversary was killed by coronavirus with 30 knife blows.

armand

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4861
    • Photos
Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1156 on: April 13, 2020, 10:02:22 pm »

French Fighter Jet Joy Ride Goes Très, Très Wrong
A French defense contractor riding in a Dassault fighter learned the hard way that the grab bar next to his seat was actually the ejection handle.
https://www.caranddriver.com/news/a32131240/french-dassault-fighter-jet-joyride/

JoeKitchen

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4500
Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1157 on: April 14, 2020, 02:32:16 pm »

"Put millions of citizens on a pathway to citizenship including so many on the front lines right now."

He's back!  Joe Biden, April 13th, 2020

The best part of this is Bernie's face.  You can see Bernie thinking, "why the hell did I just drop out!" 
« Last Edit: April 14, 2020, 02:49:23 pm by JoeKitchen »
Logged
"Photography is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent

Slobodan Blagojevic

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 17254
  • When everyone thinks the same, nobody thinks
    • My website
Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1158 on: April 15, 2020, 04:05:39 am »

...

Slobodan Blagojevic

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 17254
  • When everyone thinks the same, nobody thinks
    • My website
Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1159 on: April 15, 2020, 01:31:05 pm »

Sorry for the macabre part:
Pages: 1 ... 56 57 [58] 59 60 ... 68   Go Up