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Author Topic: A touch of humor  (Read 172190 times)

Zen8

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #740 on: November 30, 2018, 04:10:30 PM »

Easy: never use social media.

Then where would I get my news from?  ;) 

Rob C

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #741 on: November 30, 2018, 04:31:12 PM »

But there's no need to get it from anywhere: just make up your own like the rest of the world does: say you are going to meet with Mr Putin, then say you are not, and then maybe/perhaps do or do not do it off the record! The rôle (it worked - I dragged it as instructed!) models are out there.

:-)

Eric Myrvaagnes

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #742 on: November 30, 2018, 11:50:12 PM »

Congrats, Rob. You are now a rôle model for the rest of us.   :D

Eric
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Zen8

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #743 on: December 01, 2018, 01:25:52 AM »

But there's no need to get it from anywhere: just make up your own like the rest of the world does: say you are going to meet with Mr Putin, then say you are not, and then maybe/perhaps do or do not do it off the record! The rôle (it worked - I dragged it as instructed!) models are out there.

:-)

I know the rules and we aren't supposed to get political, etc which I fully agree with. As Forrest Gump said "That is all I have to say about that." Still fun to take little jabs at the orange guy once in a while. I'm OK with any warnings if I cross that line.

Rob C

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #744 on: December 01, 2018, 04:56:51 AM »

Congrats, Rob. You are now a rôle model for the rest of us.   :D

Eric

Sorry, Eric, I eschew any such responsibilty on principle.

;-)

Rob C

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #745 on: December 01, 2018, 05:02:31 AM »

If you can't afford a private doctor, have lost your rights to the free social service medics, go to an airport: you'll get a free X-Ray; a breast examination and, if you mention Al Quaeda, a free colonoscopy too!

;-)

Jeremy Roussak

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #746 on: December 02, 2018, 03:50:39 AM »

.
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Zen8

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #747 on: December 03, 2018, 01:12:51 AM »

The last time I went for my physical and being my age I got the you know what test. When I heard the snap of the glove I asked my doctor if he would write a note for my wife. He asked why? I responded "to explain to her that my head isn't actually up there."

I actually told that one to my doctor.             

Jeremy Roussak

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #748 on: December 13, 2018, 06:19:34 AM »

Can't get away from the damn song these days.

Jeremy
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athegn

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #749 on: December 13, 2018, 03:04:07 PM »

.

Brilliant!

Sent a link to the membership sec., of an organisation I belong to, who is fed up with GDPR. She loves It!
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PeterAit

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #750 on: December 14, 2018, 03:58:33 PM »

Dear Santa. For Christmas I want a thin ass and a fat bank account. And don't get them mixed up like last year.
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Peter
"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication." - Leonardo da Vinci

Ivophoto

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #751 on: December 16, 2018, 08:01:58 AM »

Can't get away from the damn song these days.

Jeremy

I kind of sympathize with this cartoon.

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Zen8

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #752 on: December 17, 2018, 11:21:36 AM »

That is funny. Going to have to send that to my friends.   

KLaban

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #753 on: December 17, 2018, 12:32:55 PM »

Can't get away from the damn song these days.

Jeremy

Dang it. Wish I'd found that before sending out the usual pleasantries.
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Rob C

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #754 on: December 18, 2018, 03:32:20 AM »

Last month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?”
 
The survey was a complete failure because:
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
 
And in Australia, New Zealand, Canada, and Great Britain
everyone hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.
 

Redcrown

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #755 on: December 18, 2018, 11:23:49 AM »

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Slobodan Blagojevic

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #756 on: December 18, 2018, 04:01:40 PM »

I apparently went with wrong divorce lawyers. Should have used these:

LesPalenik

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #757 on: December 18, 2018, 07:28:31 PM »

No, Slobodan. You should have used this lawyer:

« Last Edit: December 18, 2018, 09:04:17 PM by LesPalenik »
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PeterAit

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #758 on: December 19, 2018, 09:25:14 AM »

I apparently went with wrong divorce lawyers. Should have used these:

Or the Car Talk law firm, Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe.
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Peter
"Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication." - Leonardo da Vinci

Rory

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #759 on: December 20, 2018, 10:47:20 AM »

Harry and Amanda were roommates, sharing a two bedroom apartment.  They invited Harry's mom for dinner.  When she arrived, after quickly sizing up the way they were interacting, she asked if they were a couple.  They both assured her that they were just roommates, and that this was very common now.

A couple of days later Amanda noticed that the gravy ladle they had used for the dinner with mom was missing and she mentioned this to Harry.  Harry quickly dashed off this email to mom:

Hi mom.  We can't find our gravy ladle.  I'm not saying you took the ladle and I'm not saying you didn't.  If you know where it is can you let us know.  Harry.

He quickly received a reply from mom:

I'm not saying you are sleeping with Amanda and I'm not saying you're not.  The ladle is in Amanda's bed.  Mom.
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