Alan, I don't understand your problem with Canada.
They're actually pretty nice folks, except for the fish and game wardens, who are assholes. And they do have the crappiest WalMart in creation, to say nothing of the dirtiest McDoanld's, which is inside that WalMart, at Dryden. But other than that, they're great folks. They also are the home of the famous lumberjack song, whose partial lyrics you'll find below:
I cut down trees, I skip and jump
I like to press wild flowers
I put on women's clothing
And hang around in bars
MOUNTIES CHOIR
He cuts down trees, he skips and jumps
He likes to press wild flowers
He puts on women's clothing
And hangs around in bars...?
He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and works all day
I cut down trees, I wear high heels
Suspenders and a bra
I wish I were a girlie
Just like my dear papa