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Author Topic: A touch of humor  (Read 309578 times)

drmike

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #380 on: January 28, 2017, 02:50:16 am »

That would be fake news. This is the real one: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-15725/The-real-reason-women-read-maps.html - The real reason women can't read maps  ;)

I'm a little surprised to see a US member quoting the Daily Mail. Is it a popular source of 'news' with a UK bias in the US?

Referring to someone as a Daily Mail reader isn't always a compliment in the UK.

(Give me a moment while I look for my flameproof trousers)

Mike
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jeremyrh

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #381 on: January 28, 2017, 11:16:35 am »

Referring to someone as a Daily Mail reader isn't always a compliment in the UK.
Understatement :-)
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jeremyrh

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #382 on: January 28, 2017, 11:19:24 am »

Choirboy inadvertently opens a door to a room and finds priest "relaxing".
Choirboy - "Father, what are you doing?"
Priest - "It's called masturbation, and you'll be doing it soon"
Choirboy - "Why?"
Priest - "Because my wrist is killing me"
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drmike

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #383 on: January 29, 2017, 06:42:51 am »

We've got a bitter wind here at the moment.

It's been going round saying "I could have been a Hurricane, you know"
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Rob C

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #384 on: January 30, 2017, 09:25:16 am »

Essex Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.
The man says 'Choose from our range on the wall.'
She says 'I'll take the red one.'
The man replies 'That's a fire extinguisher.'

Rob

petermfiore

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #385 on: January 30, 2017, 10:35:21 am »

Essex Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.
The man says 'Choose from our range on the wall.'
She says 'I'll take the red one.'
The man replies 'That's a fire extinguisher.'

Rob

Experience goes a LONG way...

Peter

Otto Phocus

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #386 on: January 30, 2017, 11:06:28 am »

Experience goes a LONG way...

Peter

Find them hot, leave them wet as my firefighter friend tells me
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Chairman Bill

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #387 on: January 31, 2017, 06:33:50 pm »

I hurt my arm this morning and was in hospital for an X-ray. As I was waiting to be seen, the chap next to me said:
"Fair fa' yer honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the puddin' race!"
Then the lady sat opposite replied:
"Wee sleekit cow'rin tim'rous beastie,
O what a panic's in thy breastie!"
Surprised, I said to the doctor: "Is this the psychiatric ward?"
"No,", he said. "This is the Serious Burns Unit."

degrub

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #388 on: January 31, 2017, 07:35:09 pm »

Oh Lord, i love it ;D ;D ;D

Frank
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Eric Myrvaagnes

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #389 on: January 31, 2017, 08:15:03 pm »

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pcgpcg

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #390 on: January 31, 2017, 09:30:11 pm »

Me looks an' laughs at a' that.
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Rob C

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #391 on: February 01, 2017, 03:31:40 am »

I hurt my arm this morning and was in hospital for an X-ray. As I was waiting to be seen, the chap next to me said:
"Fair fa' yer honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the puddin' race!"
Then the lady sat opposite replied:
"Wee sleekit cow'rin tim'rous beastie,
O what a panic's in thy breastie!"
Surprised, I said to the doctor: "Is this the psychiatric ward?"
"No,", he said. "This is the Serious Burns Unit."



They are both the same thing.

;-)

Rob

Redcrown

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #392 on: February 01, 2017, 04:05:55 pm »

Dear British Brothers,

I'm often left curious by some of the British humor found here, and the fact that some of it is beyond comprehension for the U.S. audience. Other cultures as well, I suppose.

With the latest "psychiatric vs burn unit" piece I have to ask:

1. What the hell does it mean? Please translate or explain.
2. What percentage of the current British population would get it?
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Rob C

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #393 on: February 01, 2017, 04:25:06 pm »

Dear British Brothers,

I'm often left curious by some of the British humor found here, and the fact that some of it is beyond comprehension for the U.S. audience. Other cultures as well, I suppose.

With the latest "psychiatric vs burn unit" piece I have to ask:

1. What the hell does it mean? Please translate or explain.
2. What percentage of the current British population would get it?


Robert Burns is a famous, dead Scottish poet; he is celebrated once a year by a feast, where haggis is served.

In my post I was being a tad sarcastic, as in my own opinion he's only famous because he had precious little competiton at home. I expect the entire population of Ecosse gets it, but not sure about England, Ireland or Wales.

Rob

athegn

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #394 on: February 01, 2017, 04:30:26 pm »

2. What percentage of the current British population would get it?
[/quote]

Most Brits would get it, but then most Brits don't like Burns; except on "Burns Night" when the whiskey is flowing.

I have presided over a "Burns Night" dinner when the Haggis was ritually killed.
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Rob C

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #395 on: February 01, 2017, 04:42:24 pm »

2. What percentage of the current British population would get it?


Most Brits would get it, but then most Brits don't like Burns; except on "Burns Night" when the whiskey is flowing.

I have presided over a "Burns Night" dinner when the Haggis was ritually killed.


Never! In Scotland we use whisky.

Rob C

athegn

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #396 on: February 01, 2017, 05:02:55 pm »

Too much Italian wine this evening to get spelling correct!
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Eric Myrvaagnes

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #397 on: February 01, 2017, 07:34:37 pm »

Dear British Brothers,

I'm often left curious by some of the British humor found here, and the fact that some of it is beyond comprehension for the U.S. audience. Other cultures as well, I suppose.

With the latest "psychiatric vs burn unit" piece I have to ask:

1. What the hell does it mean? Please translate or explain.
2. What percentage of the current British population would get it?
Gosh, fellas. There must be something wrong with me. I'm totally American, but I understood it perfectly. I even had to read it to my American wife, who also found it hilarious.
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Otto Phocus

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #398 on: February 02, 2017, 06:35:23 am »


With the latest "psychiatric vs burn unit" piece I have to ask:

1. What the hell does it mean? Please translate or explain.


Honestly, it took me a while to get it also.  The key was that the writer called it the Serious Burns Unit.
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Christopher Sanderson

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #399 on: February 02, 2017, 08:46:37 am »

‘a’e anoo wee dram the noo bonny laddie. Jus’a wee doch an’ doras, ye ken.
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