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Author Topic: A touch of humor  (Read 235181 times)

Otto Phocus

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #280 on: November 18, 2016, 06:33:21 am »

If a man says something in the woods, and no woman hears him, is he still wrong?

This is quite easy to explain.

Since a man is wrong at the moment of speaking, the recipient or lack of a recipient of the message is irrelevant.

However, since the man was inconsiderate enough to make this mistake without his lady being present, thereby denying her the opportunity to comment, he is doubly wrong. 

Besides, what was the man doing in the woods in the first place?  There is a list of stuff that needs to be done at the house; so that's his third mistake.

Was the man trying to get away from the woman?  That's now a "Relationship Issue" and he is automatically wrong.

This guy is having a bad day.   ;D
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JimAscher

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #281 on: November 18, 2016, 11:16:50 am »

and here i was trying to be witty.

maybe I should forget humor and try something simpler eg. -photography .

Edmund

Your quip was VERY witty.  I'm a bit surprised there could apparently be anyone out there who didn't get it. 
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Chairman Bill

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #282 on: November 18, 2016, 11:36:56 am »

and here i was trying to be witty.

maybe I should forget humor and try something simpler eg. -photography .

Edmund

Apologies for missing it. Your use of 'mansplain' should have been the giveaway

Eric Myrvaagnes

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #283 on: November 18, 2016, 01:06:58 pm »

Apologies for missing it. Your use of 'mansplain' should have been the giveaway
Yes it should.
But you still do great tree photos, Bill.
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Chairman Bill

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #284 on: November 18, 2016, 02:00:47 pm »

Thanks, Eric.

By the way, I've bought a new book titled ĎTeach Yourself X-Ray Visioní. Iíve just been having a look through it.

Slobodan Blagojevic

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #285 on: November 18, 2016, 02:08:41 pm »

... By the way, I've bought a new book titled ĎTeach Yourself X-Ray Visioní. Iíve just been having a look through it.

Speaking of books... there are two videos on YouTube about reading books with fake titles on the subway:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rISX9x2cFjU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LyVVbhvStk

Chairman Bill

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #286 on: November 18, 2016, 02:32:20 pm »

The Metropolitan police want to interview a man wearing high heels and frilly knickers, but have been told they have to wear their uniforms.

Chairman Bill

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #287 on: November 18, 2016, 02:53:39 pm »

Englishman and a Frenchman go for dinner. Both order the trout. The Englishman loves it. The Frenchman hates it. But you know what they say, one man's fish is another man's poisson ...

eronald

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #288 on: November 18, 2016, 09:46:12 pm »

Englishman and a Frenchman go for dinner. Both order the trout. The Englishman loves it. The Frenchman hates it. But you know what they say, one man's fish is another man's poisson ...

This old and stinking pun is both fish and foul.

(btw that is a joke ...)

Edmund
« Last Edit: November 19, 2016, 09:22:42 am by eronald »
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pegelli

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #289 on: November 19, 2016, 11:16:46 am »

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eronald

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #290 on: November 19, 2016, 06:28:23 pm »



Is that burlesque humor or just a comic strip?

Edmund
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pegelli

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #291 on: November 20, 2016, 04:31:31 am »

Is that burlesque humor or just a comic strip?

Edmund
Probably both  ;)
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pieter, aka pegelli

Chairman Bill

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #292 on: November 20, 2016, 04:50:04 am »

My wife was putting on her make-up and I mentioned that she'd drawn her eyebrows a little high. She seemed surprised.

drmike

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #293 on: November 20, 2016, 04:51:16 am »

 :)
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mediumcool

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #294 on: November 20, 2016, 06:27:16 am »

My father's trying to persuade me to get an organ donor card. He's a man after my own heart.

Thatís a Tim Vine sort of joke!
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Chairman Bill

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #295 on: November 20, 2016, 07:16:02 am »

Thatís a Tim Vine sort of joke!

Tim Vine is a genius

Zorki5

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #296 on: November 20, 2016, 09:03:34 am »

Tim Vine is a genius

And guess what, I've never heard of him! So thanks for the reference. A couple of winners by Tim:

"I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again."

"Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly."
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Jeremy Roussak

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #297 on: November 20, 2016, 01:00:07 pm »

Thatís a Tim Vine sort of joke!

It could well be an actual Tim Vine joke. I can never remember where I hear these things.

Jeremy
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drmike

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #298 on: November 21, 2016, 05:45:01 am »

The scene is the offices of The Daily Planet.

Lois Lane has just made a cutting remark to Clark Kent. Jimmy Olsen has
overheard and is shocked:

Jimmy: Why are you always so sarcastic to Clark? Can't you think of
something wittier to say?

Clark: What's the problem, Jimmy? Don't you know that sarcasm is the
Lois form of wit?
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eronald

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #299 on: November 21, 2016, 04:29:26 pm »

The scene is the offices of The Daily Planet.

Lois Lane has just made a cutting remark to Clark Kent. Jimmy Olsen has
overheard and is shocked:

Jimmy: Why are you always so sarcastic to Clark? Can't you think of
something wittier to say?

Clark: What's the problem, Jimmy? Don't you know that sarcasm is the
Lois form of wit?

What are we getting next - jokes about the holes in Superman's briefs?

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