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Author Topic: A touch of humor  (Read 235026 times)

Slobodan Blagojevic

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1180 on: April 20, 2020, 05:08:31 am »

Or is it "corn teen"?

drmike

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1181 on: April 20, 2020, 07:46:07 am »

I know you guys enjoy a shaggy dog story so ...


Once upon a time, in the continent of Africa ruled the great chief
Zambaba. He had 3 dozen sons, and as they grew older they became very
hard to keep amused.

Desperate to find something for his sons to do, Zambaba called for the
great wise man, Ztahara. For 80 days and nights Zambaba waited in his hut
for the wise man. When Ztahara did show up, Zambaba muttered something to
the effect of "Go around the world or something?" With his frustration
vented, he beseeched the great Ztahara to suggest something for his 3
dozen very bored princes to do.

Ztahara looked up at the sky, and uttered some mumbo jumbo. He danced
around for another week, consulted bones and such. Finally, at his wit's
end, Zambaba slipped the old guy fifty quid, and the two got down to
business.

"You must send your sons on a quest. Each must bring back 1 exotic gift.
The most exotic gift you receive will be given be the most worthy prince
to be king."

So with this said, Zambaba sent his sons out into the world. After many
weeks, his youngest son returned with a very exotic gift: a stone throne.
The chief, who had to stand around all of the time, was very pleased at
the gift. There was celebration and dancing.

A week later, his second youngest son returned with another exotic gift:A
straw throne. The king preferred it to the stone throne because it was
soft and was a bit warmer. To keep the servants off of the old chair, he
had the stone throne put into the attic. There was much dancing and
rejoicing.

A week later, the chief's third youngest son returned with: a wooden
throne. (Which was nice because the straw throne was getting to look a
bit shabby). There even more dancing and rejoicing and, yet again, the
older throne was put into the attic.

Well, for the next year and a half, the chief received more and more
thrones from his sons. Gold thrones, platinum thrones, ivory thrones,
thrones made out of herring, fur covered thrones and even ergonomically
correct thrones.

Each new throne was more luxurious and more comfortable
than the last. Since the king was touched by the receipt of each gift, he
did not have the heart to throw them away, neither could he bear to let
servants sit on them. Thus each throne, in turn, was stuffed into the
attic.

At last the eldest son arrived with the most magnificent throne of all.

It had everything, a leather interior, dolby surround sound, a fridge
underneath, a beer holder, full body massager and (or course) one of those
annoying upholstery arm thingies that hold the remote control. Since the
last throne was the wrong colour, it was thrown into the attic and this
last throne was declared a winner.

There was a loud drunken party that night to celebrate. All of the noise,
and the inebriated people stepping through the walls weakened the already
overloaded structure of the hut, causing it to collapse on top of the
king and all of his princes.

Moral of the story:


A terrible play on words

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

He who lives in grass house should not stow thrones.
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armand

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1182 on: April 20, 2020, 08:40:04 pm »

when a nurse's 9 yo daughter transposes E and O

Robert Roaldi

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1183 on: April 21, 2020, 07:51:00 am »

A short 2 min film about a child in the UK and her Covid-19 sacrifices, https://youtu.be/-nhdZzU8e_Q.
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Robert

RSL

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1184 on: April 21, 2020, 09:03:22 am »

I may have posted this one before. If so, my apologies.

Johnnie was told by his teacher that “frugal” means to save, and he was to write a short story in which he included the word. So he wrote this:

A young prince was out walking when he came to a deep hole in the ground where a beautiful princess was trapped.

“Frugal me. Frugal me,” she shouted at him. So he jumped in the hole and frugaled her. And they both lived happily ever after.
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Robert Roaldi

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1185 on: April 25, 2020, 11:30:35 am »

I sure hope this is a spoof, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHn0m9tyscE.
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Robert

Slobodan Blagojevic

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1186 on: April 25, 2020, 12:51:14 pm »

Rob C

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1187 on: April 26, 2020, 09:37:43 am »

...

The woman on the left looks like the woman holding the blade in the well-known HC-B shot of prostitutes in Mexico, I think it was.

Rajan Parrikar

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1188 on: April 27, 2020, 05:27:43 am »

“The Daily News published a story saying that one-half of the MP (Members of Parliament) were crooks.
The Government took great exception to that and demanded a retraction and an apology.
The newspaper responded the next day with an apology and reported that one-half of the MPs were not crooks.”

I came across this joke here.

Slobodan Blagojevic

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1189 on: April 28, 2020, 05:15:12 am »

For mask lovers:

PeterAit

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1190 on: April 28, 2020, 09:31:45 am »

For mask lovers:

Good one! If it weren't for the file name I would have been clueless.
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Peter

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JoeKitchen

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Rob C

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1192 on: April 28, 2020, 05:56:09 pm »

Good one! If it weren't for the file name I would have been clueless.

Heysoos, Peter! You must be very young...

:-)

JoeKitchen

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1194 on: April 28, 2020, 08:03:53 pm »

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JoeKitchen

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1195 on: April 29, 2020, 09:03:38 am »

If only it was not so true. 
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"Photography is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent

drmike

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1196 on: April 29, 2020, 11:18:25 am »

I had a dream last night that I was cutting carrots with the Grim Reaper! I was really dicing with death....
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armand

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1197 on: April 30, 2020, 01:51:36 pm »

..

Chairman Bill

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1198 on: April 30, 2020, 02:54:07 pm »

I've got the vaccine. Seems to be working well, just the one side-effect. If you see me, please don't throw a stick

Eric Myrvaagnes

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #1199 on: April 30, 2020, 05:45:58 pm »

I've got the vaccine. Seems to be working well, just the one side-effect. If you see me, please don't throw a stick
Arf!
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-Eric Myrvaagnes (visit my website: http://myrvaagnes.com)
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