Topic: Pom Bashing for Rob C and possibly some others (Read 5393 times)

WalterEG · « **on:** January 02, 2014, 04:46:59 am »

Q. What do you get if you cross the English cricket team with an OXO cube?
A. A laughing stock.

   Q. What’s the height of optimism? 
A. English batsman putting on sunscreen.   

Q. What’s the difference between an English batsman and a Formula 1 car?
 A. Nothing! If you blink you’ll miss them both.

   
Q. What do English batsmen and drug addicts have in common? 
A. Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.   

Q. What does an English batsman who is playing in The Ashes have in common with Michael Jackson? 
A. They both wore gloves for no apparent reason.   

Q. What is the difference between Cinderella and the Pommies?
 A. Cinderella knew when to leave the ball.

Q. What's the difference between the Pommies and a funeral director? 
A. A funeral director isn't going to lose the ashes.

Fifth Test in the Ashes Series starts tomorrow at the SCG. Will it be a clean sweep of 5 wins to the antipodeans?

Rob C · « **Reply #1 on:** January 02, 2014, 05:17:50 am »

Ah Walter, were I but a sportsman I'd be devastated; as it is, I wonder why either side bothers to run up that head of sweat. All of those all-running all-leaping events are the same to me. Only that with some of them, the score is more easy to understand.

However, those are good, short jokes!

;-)

Rob C

Jeremy Roussak · « **Reply #2 on:** January 04, 2014, 04:41:06 pm »

Wrong target, Walter! How on earth do you think you can taunt a Scotsman with anti-English jokes? Everyone affiliated to the land north of Hadrian's wall is laughing his socks off at events in Australia anyway.

Jeremy

David Anderson · « **Reply #3 on:** January 04, 2014, 10:47:06 pm »

IMHO, and with the possible exception of golf, nothing is as stupid or boring as cricket.

Tony Jay · « **Reply #4 on:** January 04, 2014, 11:02:46 pm »

Quote from: David Anderson on January 04, 2014, 10:47:06 pm

IMHO, and with the possible exception of golf, nothing is as stupid or boring as cricket.

Is that Ricky Ponting as the index image on your site, David?

Tony Jay

WalterEG · « **Reply #5 on:** January 05, 2014, 01:31:39 am »

Hi David,

I thought you had fallen from the face of the earth — haven't seen you around the traps in many a long day.

Best wishes to you and the clan for 2014.

W

Rob C · « **Reply #6 on:** January 05, 2014, 04:54:20 am »

Quote from: kikashi on January 04, 2014, 04:41:06 pm

Wrong target, Walter! How on earth do you think you can taunt a Scotsman with anti-English jokes? Everyone affiliated to the land north of Hadrian's wall is laughing his socks off at events in Australia anyway.

Jeremy

Were it not for the press, I doubt anyone would notice.

The only sport - sport? - left with glamour is top tennis, where it's elegantly gladiatorial, reeks of big money and personal dramas with rise and fall and some tension. The rest is just swimming done with boots and helmets. Or with sticks.

Rob C

WalterEG · « **Reply #7 on:** January 05, 2014, 05:22:15 am »

Quote from: kikashi on January 04, 2014, 04:41:06 pm

Wrong target, Walter! How on earth do you think you can taunt a Scotsman with anti-English jokes? Everyone affiliated to the land north of Hadrian's wall is laughing his socks off at events in Australia anyway.

Jeremy,

Taunting was not my aim. I just thought that as a Scot (ex-pat) that Rob might like to see the slipper put into the Poms.

People have been pretty compassionate about their plight but I just saw a comment from Sir Ian Botham and he handed out a right thugging.

It has to be said, I hate the Aussie team just as much as I dislike the to-and-froms. So I am not a happy boy, either way.

W

Farmer · « **Reply #8 on:** January 05, 2014, 03:24:17 pm »

How does anyone "hate" a team? Do you know them personally?

WalterEG · « **Reply #9 on:** January 05, 2014, 03:45:48 pm »

It is easy Phil,

No need to actually know them, just as I don't know you but what you have revealed of yourself, my feelings to you would probably be quite similar. hahahahaha

Farmer · « **Reply #10 on:** January 05, 2014, 05:03:54 pm »

I think that if you can hate with so little knowledge, you are very special. Each to their own, I suppose.

Jeremy Roussak · « **Reply #11 on:** January 05, 2014, 05:08:21 pm »

Quote from: Farmer on January 05, 2014, 03:24:17 pm

How does anyone "hate" a team? Do you know them personally?

Have you ever seen a collection of UK football "fans"? The naked animosity not only to the opposing team but to their supporters has to been seen to be believed - and they're very far from being all mindless thugs. Sport seems to bring out the worst in people.

Jeremy

Jeremy Roussak · « **Reply #12 on:** January 05, 2014, 05:11:22 pm »

Quote from: WalterEG on January 05, 2014, 05:22:15 am

Jeremy,

Taunting was not my aim. I just thought that as a Scot (ex-pat) that Rob might like to see the slipper put into the Poms.

People have been pretty compassionate about their plight but I just saw a comment from Sir Ian Botham and he handed out a right thugging.

I misjudged you, Walter, and I apologise: you were inviting him to share in the (wholly justified, I must admit) derision.

Geoff Boycott has been similarly acerbic.

I'm a fair-weather supporter. I keep a vague interest when things are going well and lose it when they're not. I'm not sure I could cope with a test match, although I gather fairly low-level but continuous imbibition of alcohol makes a sunny day pass with reasonable speed.

Jeremy

WalterEG · « **Reply #13 on:** January 05, 2014, 05:31:12 pm »

I applaud your accuracy of reasoning Jeremy.

Phil,

In the event that next year your mummy takes you to see Santa, might I suggest that you include in your list of requests a DICTIONARY.

Upon receipt of same go the the letter 'H' and therein seek out the word HYPERBOLE. It could open up a whole new realm of existence for you which appears to have previously remained hidden from view.

W

Farmer · « **Reply #14 on:** January 05, 2014, 05:32:57 pm »

Quote from: kikashi on January 05, 2014, 05:08:21 pm

Have you ever seen a collection of UK football "fans"? The naked animosity not only to the opposing team but to their supporters has to been seen to be believed - and they're very far from being all mindless thugs. Sport seems to bring out the worst in people.

Yes - agreed. I think it's mindless behaviour regardless of how the person involved might normally be perceived. I support various teams and I certainly dislike certain players or behaviours, etc, but hate? Hardly.

Farmer · « **Reply #15 on:** January 05, 2014, 05:36:24 pm »

That's the best you have, Walter? Maybe you're actually an English cricketer.

seamus finn · « **Reply #16 on:** January 08, 2014, 03:32:23 pm »

Come here to me Walter - do you have any Irish jokes at all at all?

You know - stuff like: If you ask for directions in Ireland, you'll be told: 'Well, if I were you, I wouldn't start from here'.

Jeremy Roussak · « **Reply #17 on:** January 09, 2014, 04:05:03 am »

Quote from: seamus finn on January 08, 2014, 03:32:23 pm

do you have any Irish jokes at all at all?

Seamus, my wife is blonde, Irish and plays the viola. The fun we have!

Jeremy

David Anderson · « **Reply #18 on:** January 09, 2014, 04:15:34 am »

Quote from: Tony Jay on January 04, 2014, 11:02:46 pm

Is that Ricky Ponting as the index image on your site, David?

Tony Jay

Errrr, no it's just a guy who looks a LOT like Ricky...

David Anderson · « **Reply #19 on:** January 09, 2014, 04:17:05 am »

Quote from: WalterEG on January 05, 2014, 01:31:39 am

Hi David,

I thought you had fallen from the face of the earth — haven't seen you around the traps in many a long day.

Best wishes to you and the clan for 2014.

W

Didn't fall as much as run from the face of the earth mate..

All the best to you as well Walter ..

Author Topic: Pom Bashing for Rob C and possibly some others (Read 5393 times)