... the problems associated with being thin – still am – and not particularly given to sport or to horseplay by nature. Groups of small children inevitably sense out those less capable of hitting them flat, and for absolutely no reason other than that they can will, therefore, go ahead and knock them flat. It’s how the male human, in a group, feels safe to operate, and anyone who denies this is lying or hiding his own character and experiences from himself...
Hmmm... I must be lying then. Or deluding myself. Or maybe I am not a man enough.
I would not say I am thin, but I am certainly of an average, i.e., non-impressive or threatening physique. And yet, in my whole life, I have never, ever (knock the wood), been bullied, mugged, attacked or engaged in any kind of physical or even verbal altercation. And I lived in some rather dangerous environments (Moscow, post-communism, eight years), Barcelona (four years), and (gasp) the "murder capital of the world" - Chicago - according to Russ (the last eight years).
My wife was a victim of a petty crime twice in Barcelona, though. Once pick-pocketing, done so skillfully (i.e., non-violently) that she did not even notice. And the second time her purse was snatched off her shoulder (again, no other harm to her). I do not see how a gun would have helped. In the second case, it would have been inside the purse, and thus gone as well.
So, what's my "secret," how on Earth I've been able to protect myself and my family from "murder and rape"
without a gun, to paraphrase Steve Weldon's question in another post? At least so far (knock the wood again).
- I simply try to avoid situations or environments where I would need a gun
- I choose to live in safe neighborhoods (I do realize that not everybody can afford that)
- I try to stay away from seedy parts of town, bars, events
- I try not to provoke a situation or confrontation
- I will try to remove myself from a situation before it escalates (not to run away mind you, just anticipate well in advance so that I can
avoid it)
- If inevitable, I'd try to defuse it
Now, if I had a gun, I would probably be in the position that economists and risk analysts call "moral hazard," i.e., engaging in riskier behavior knowing that I am "protected." Which then becomes a self-fullfilling prophecy: by owning the gun you actually attract the situations where owning and using it is justifiable. Or you can call it a vicious circle.
Also, by owning the gun I might be tempted to use it. I generally consider myself a calm and composed individual. Yet, everyone has his breaking point. Sometimes the trigger (pardon the pun) might be a sense of injustice, wounded pride, moral outrage, or simply hurt feelings (like when Oscar insulted my daughter
). If (or when) it happens to me, if I ever reach my breaking point, I certainly don't wish to have a gun in my hands.
But lets now assume i do have a gun and I ended up in a situation where it might be needed. If I brandish it as a deterrence, and the assailant runs away screaming in horror, that would be a Hollywood happy ending, wouldn't it? In reality, I am more likely to face another individual with a gun. And here is the catch: that individual will be more accustomed to the situation, more experienced, quicker, more determined and with far less moral scruples to use it than I would. Although I am not afraid to use it in self-defense, I would probably deliberate for a SPLIT-SECOND longer, whether the situation warrants killing, than the other guy.