What's your problem 
The difference is very easily explained (but you need some basic knowledge about photography).
The sensor is bigger (twice as big).
When you don't change your position you can shoot the same FOV with a longer lens than with a 35mm camera.
This will DRAMATICLY change the way the photo looks.
First in DOF but also in distortion of the shot.
This is for ME the reason I switched you get wonderful results and great DOF control.
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I think you are forgetting Frank that the differences that exist between 35mm and MFDBs regarding the DoF effect with lenses of the same focal length is common hat to many of us folks who have never even used MFDBs.
Most people who only ever used 35mm film switched to cropped format DSLRs when they became available and affordable and had to contend with the different FoV and DoF one would get with lenses one had been used to using on 35mm film cameras.
During the past few years there have been hundreds of threads on this forum alone explaining the multiplier effect with regard to choice of focal length and its effect on DoF.
Just as an MFDB is a cropped 6x4.5cm MF film format, a Canon 20D or 40D is a cropped 35mm film format. The only difference being the 40D is cropped to a slightly greater extent than the MFDB.
If I want to get the same effect (same FoV and same DoF) with my 20D as I would get using an 80mm portrait lens on my full frame 5D, I have to use a 50mm lens and divide the f stop number by 1.6.
For example, where I would use f8 with the 80mm lens on the 5D, I would use f5 with the 50mm lens on the 20D, shooting from the same distance.
When using a 1Ds3 instead of a P21, you will get the same effect, shooting from the same distance if you use a lens of a shorter focal length and wider aperture.
The multiplier is slightly less, about 1.5 if you want equal FoV keeping the MFDB aspect ratio (ie cropping the 35mm format).
So, when comparing a 1Ds3 with a P21, if you are using a 120mm lens with the P21 at f11, you should be using an 80mm lens at f7.1 with the 1Ds3. You'll get the same effect fairly precisely shooting from the same position.
However, if you intend matching the FoVs in the longer dimension (cropping the P21 to the same aspect ratio as 35mm) then the multiplier becomes 1.33, which means you should be using a 90mm lens at f8 with the 1Ds3.
I think some of you guys might be attributing certain mystical qualities to the MFDB which simply don't exist.