The Loneliness Of Living In New York City

[Slobodan Blagojevic]

"Photo Series Captures The Loneliness Of Living In New York City"

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/photo-series-captures-the-loneliness-of-living-in-new-york-city_us_5b509e6fe4b0b15aba8c5eaa

One of many excellent images:

[Jeremy Roussak]

It's an interesting article and they're interesting photographs. I think, though, that despite his protestations he does confuse solitude with loneliness.

In the picture you post, I see a man sitting reading a newspaper. Nothing about it speaks to me of other than quiet contentment and peace. I can picture myself in exactly the same situation. Some of us like our own company (some of us find ourselves in a small minority in so doing, but that's another matter).

Jeremy

[Rob C]

It's an interesting article and they're interesting photographs. I think, though, that despite his protestations he does confuse solitude with loneliness.

In the picture you post, I see a man sitting reading a newspaper. Nothing about it speaks to me of other than quiet contentment and peace. I can picture myself in exactly the same situation. Some of us like our own company (some of us find ourselves in a small minority in so doing, but that's another matter).

Jeremy

If I can't have close family beside me when I go out to eat, and that's over 95% of the time, I far prefer my own company, my ears on, music soothing the whatever, and pics to see on my iPad between courses. I don't need or seek "people" just for the hell of it - they often bring more problems than anything else, along with conversation that is forgotten before the bill comes. And that brings some more of its own, too, with groups. And if you can no longer drink, people who still can often disintegrate before your eyes. Who needs it?

If we were meant to be totally gregarious we'd have been designed to run in packs. Oh, wait...

[Eric Myrvaagnes]

It's a fine series, but I agree with Jeremy that it is more about solitude than loneliness.

[RSL]

It's an interesting article and they're interesting photographs. I think, though, that despite his protestations he does confuse solitude with loneliness.

In the picture you post, I see a man sitting reading a newspaper. Nothing about it speaks to me of other than quiet contentment and peace. I can picture myself in exactly the same situation. Some of us like our own company (some of us find ourselves in a small minority in so doing, but that's another matter).

Jeremy

Exactly!

[Slobodan Blagojevic]

Ah, you philosophers you!

When you have somebody waiting for you at home, solitude is a choice. When not, solitude is a rationalization

[Rob C]

Ah, you philosophers you!

When you have somebody waiting for you at home, solitude is a choice. When not, solitude is a rationalization

Mmmmm... not so sure.

When that someone is around, you can still have your own space when you need it - depending on the mental and spiritual security of the significant other - but that's a mental, temporary choice that is a million miles removed from when the choice is no longer an option.

But, some do actually enjoy the fact of being totally independent.

Others, such as myself, handle "induced independence" not by seeking a substitute (have you ever realised how common, in everything, is the role of the substitute in life?) but by accepting the new status quo for what it is: to the atheist, permanent; to me, temporary. A name for that is faith; not of religion, but of belief in a creator with purpose. If I turn out to have been dreaming, I shall never know, but in the meantime, it stays madness and permits the continuation of time. There is peace in solitude; the company of people with nothing worth listening to to say is everywhere - if you want to join in and become the same, that's a considered option, but it's not for me, just as the physical group ethic of photographic gatherings is not, either.

It is the beauty of LuLa: it's there when you feel a need to communicate on some matter, but you do not become beholden to reciprocal booze-ups, trips to watch football games and all manner of similar, social torture.

That is not rationalisation - I suggest it is a predisposition of character, trained early in the confines of institutions such as missionary-run boarding schools where survival depended on the rapid growth of an extremely strong shell. What a joy, escaping all that, and finding my "other" in the next establishment!

I find evidence of purpose in such events, as in several other career events that were, at the very least, accidental, but vastly important to the sequences of life.

[fdisilvestro]

I will comment based on my experience as a tourist in New York City on a couple of occasions.

It is a wonderful city and I like it very much, but on some occasions I perceived loneliness (not solitude) in people along the streets and public transport.

I was shocked when the recommendation I received before visiting the city was "do not establish eye contact", especially for someone coming from a south american city, where you could talk to any stranger as if you knew them for a long time.

I haven't been to NYC recently so things may have changed and yes, being in a place for a few days as a tourist is completely different to living there. It is just what I felt.

[Rob C]

I will comment based on my experience as a tourist in New York City on a couple of occasions.

It is a wonderful city and I like it very much, but on some occasions I perceived loneliness (not solitude) in people along the streets and public transport.

I was shocked when the recommendation I received before visiting the city was "do not establish eye contact", especially for someone coming from a south american city, where you could talk to any stranger as if you knew them for a long time.

I haven't been to NYC recently so things may have changed and yes, being in a place for a few days as a tourist is completely different to living there. It is just what I felt.

↩️
No idea about NY, but age also makes a big difference to random connection.

When I was quite young I would never chat to a stranger; I noticed that people of my parents' age would chat, especially on holidays. Today, I quite often speak to total strangers standing at a check-out counter or places like that. This could also be because the Mediterranean spirit is not so closed off - yet. A favourite such spot is the bank, always understaffed and usually busy, resulting in much impatient rolling of eyes, checking of watches and departures before mission accomplished. Manana, you see.

I think familiarity with neighbourhood, even if not of the individuals, many never seen or notice before, is key: a sense of being in the same boat.

[Farmer]

A favourite such spot is the bank, always understaffed and usually busy, resulting in much impatient rolling of eyes, checking of watches and departures before mission accomplished. Manana, you see.

How many people need to regularly go into a bank these days?  My bank doesn't even have physical branches.

[Rob C]

How many people need to regularly go into a bank these days?  My bank doesn't even have physical branches.

Thousands.

Fortunately, bearer cheques are, and have been, all the rage for as long as I can remember. Further, you have no idea how difficult it has been simply changing a bank account from two names to one: years later, I still have to go in every month - in person - to get a monthly statement that used to come automatically with the earlier account. The manager and others have attempted to set me up to the earlier status, all to no avail: statements will simply not come. Oh, I get a paper confirmation every time I use a cheque, but I don't want that: I want a monthly statement that keeps everything neat and instantly accountable.

I had to run the same race with my credit card: when I found myself in the local Big Smoke buying a monitor, the dealer informed me that I could not pay for it using the card, which was being refused. I got them to call the card company, and to put me on the line to the people there. I was told there was no such account as the one I was trying to use. However, I had known the wholesaler - with whom I had initially been connected via Kodak - for many years, and on assuring them that the bank held the liquid funds, they gave me their bank details so that I could transfer the money on returning to my home town.

I went to the bank, and discovered that on trying to cancel my late wife's card, they had effed up and cancelled mine. Thank you. I can just imagine trying to sort that out via a telephone call, where I would instantly have been assumed to be in the wrong, a fraudster or whatever else might have had them amused and out the boredom-bog of their job for twenty minutes.

In business, as in anything else, nothing replaces personal contact and evaluation. It's part of the Rolex syndrome: inspires a sense of reassurance in those who know it from a Timex.

;-)