I tend towards hot rather than underexposed these days given the amount of information I can trust ACR to retain in the dresses
This is a common mistake. ACR (or any RAW developer) doesn't
retain any information, it just displays the information present in the RAW file. There is no merit at all in doing that. The general belief is that RAW can help us to _recover_ information. Recover? where and when was that information lost that we have to recover it now?.
RAW doesn't recover anything, it was camera's JPEG that eliminated a lot of information from the RAW, specially highlights information and basically because of the white balance process. Opening the RAW file in a RAW developer doesn't mean recovering anything, it just means _not losing_ what it was lost when the camera built the JPEG file.
That is why UniWB makes sense: until camera manufacturers take into account RAW shooters, and decide to help us providing tools that allow to know how good resulted the data collected in the RAW file (for example providing RAW histograms in the camera, instead of cooked overexposed JPEG histograms), UniWB can help to make camera histograms get closer (never exactly the same) to a RAW histogram.
I did some trial shots, the histogram still looked nothing like the one in ACR and I couldn't see what was going on with the screen as well, bit confusing.
You seem to be believing the ACR histogram is the RAW histogram. It is not, ACR's histogram is a cooked version of the RAW histogram, i.e. a cooked version of what you really have in the RAW file. Among others the processes of white balance, colour interpolation and output colour profile conversion took place. The good thing of ACR is that it allows you to set a
negative exposure compensation that brings again to life all that information that the white balance (which is a positive exposure compensation for each indivigual RGB channel) was blowing.
So ACR is OK to find out how much information the RAW file really has, but still it is not a RAW histogram. So don't expect camera's histogram + UniWB be close to what you will see in ACR. The goal of UniWB is to make camera's histogram closer to a genuine RAW histogram.