Here we are:
My new member name is "ThierryH". I have asked Michael to delete my previous account.
Let me say to everybody thank you for this unexpected display of support. It goes straight to the heart, frankly. Like two of you put it: "he did not die" and "he did not save the world". In other words, it is effectively not that important, what happened to me, whatever can be my emotions and feelings. Life goes on and that's the most important. And I had actually said it a few months back and here: I do not need Sinar to survive, for other things in life are more important.
I have simply loved a company, the product and my work, for 19 years. And I have here to thank the whole Koch family, the "grand-father" and creator of Sinar, Carl, then the "father", Hans Carl, and finally "the sons" Carl Jürg and Lorenz, for having first allowed me to join their company, back in June '90, then to have showed me support and trust throughout the years and in any circumstance, allowing me to move to and to do my work directly out of Thailand: without having the necessary trust in me and the belief that I could handle things alone, without possibilities to control me, that would never have been possible. That was a huge prove of confidence which was in my heart and mind all these last years. I have put a point to not disappoint nor misuse this confidence and trust from 3 generations of the Koch family.
Times have changed since, the Koch family has gone, some other people have gone. The company has been taken over by a foreign company. The management has changed. That is common knowledge and all normal or at least possible, everywhere in the world and for any company. However, Mr. Hans Carl Koch did put an emphasis, when he decided to retire, to hand over Sinar to the most suitable persons and company, to secure the future not only of a leading company, but also of his employees whom he had in great esteem and for whom he cared much. He knew that there was a tremendous amount of knowledge, of motivation and commitment, and last but not least, passion to keep Sinar ahead, among all these employees. All necessary qualities in difficult economic times. He simply knew and remembered that he had grown himself, with his company, only with the help of his employees. We used to call it "the Sinar Family". That is something which I cherished and was proud of, throughout these years, for without this very essential spirit and in such a market as professional photography, it is hard to survive. Times will tell if he did the right thing, for only time is judge.
For me it is a period of my life, nothing more. I will get over it, keeping the good memories and friends I have made throughout the years. Nothing of that is lost. I am not sure what this future will be, and I am even less sure if it will still be in photography. But photography will remain a passion, and that's what counts.
Thanks again and all the best to all,
Thierry