ETTR is not exactly a scientifically defined term, so I guess its meaning can differ a bit depending on who explains it.
I can realize that it may be confusing especially for us landscape photographers since a large number of outdoor scenes have some impossible highlight, lamp, sun, star, bright water reflection etc, and then it is better to talk about suitable exposure to get the right look of highlights, a little bit of "glow" around a lamp may be suitable for example. I rarely find it valuable to capture highlights that are too bright for the eye to see when standing at the scene. The moon is an interesting example, for that I usually find it suitable to overexpose it a little, still keep some structure on it but get the glow around it, it often gives the most natural look.
Another problem is that histograms in cameras are so poorly detailed that you won't really detect in them if small highlights are overexposed. Often clipping "blinkies" are only on luminance and will thus often not blink if one channel is clipped etc. It would be very easy for the manufacturers to provide the tools needed to be able to exactly evaluate the exposure, but by some unknown reason they don't think photographers are interested in having those tools. Uniwb seems to improve this a little bit, but I understand those that think it is too little to be worth it.
I think the best way to explain how to expose digitally is that you should concentrate on the highlights, try to get them as close as saturation as possible in order to capture as many photons from the scene as possible for best signal-to-noise ratio in the whole picture, and if not possible to fit them without overexposure then decide what a suitable amount of overexposure is, but keep in mind what is lost is lost so do not overdo it, and that poor camera exposure evaluation tools can fool you, so play it safe and bracket if there is a difficult situation. Sounds pretty much as expose-to-the-right to me.