Jason, It's a good start. Here's a paragraph from an article on street photography I have out to one of the photo mags. Don't yet know whether or not they'll publish it. If I can't find a home for it I'll post the whole thing on LuLa:
"A picture of a person on a street is no more street photography than a picture of a street is street photography. A good street photograph is a story, though the story may be confusing or even one you'll never be able to decipher. There must be interesting human behavior in the picture -- something beyond a simple shot of a person or people, no matter how weird the people are, no matter how much they fit stereotypes, no matter how briskly they walk, no matter how they slouch against the stoop. Often there's an element of mystery in the story, and unless the picture makes you think, it's not much of a street photograph."
Now, is there interesting human behavior in this shot? Just barely. Actually it's kind of weird behavior. They're both striding down the street in flipflops, which is a great way to break a toe, even in Waikiki. And there's a even a little bit of mystery: Why is the girl holding her hat instead of wearing it? Why is she behind the guy? Is she with him? If so, is she just doing the proper thing and walking one pace behind him?
Actually, it's just good enough to be called a street photograph. I'd give it about a C, maybe a C+. One technical problem I see is that on my own (calibrated) monitor it looks as if you've blocked up some of the lower tones. Better to spread those mid-tones out a bit more.
Keep shooting this kind of stuff. It's always interesting. People are always interesting.
