I like the picture. On close examination it looks like a conservatively done HDR; if not I am amazed that the interior is lit well enough to show shadow detail yet the scene out the window is certainly not blown out. I would be tempted to burn in that portion, though.
As far as photo club judging is concerned, I have real problems. I am the competitions director of a large and very creative club, and our judges are sometimes so rule-bound that they don't really see the picture itself. When I judge at other clubs I try to evaluate what each image is, and what either impedes or aids its aesthetic value. I am most concerned for our newer members who could end up rejecting all sorts of creatively-seen subjects because the composition would "violate" the "rules."
There is a sterility to photo-club pictures. Sometimes I think about going blindfolded into a gallery hung with 100 photo club pictures, feeling the sides of the frame and then pointing to the right lower intersection of thirds and saying "Nice placement of the subject."
I am not against considering all of the aspects of form, shape, color, size and placement, etc, as you frame your scene, but there are countless images of excellent and well known masters of photography that would do poorly in most club competitions. What's wrong with that picture (pun intended)?
Incidentally, sometimes a totally blown out part of a scene can add to the drama of the image. I had one of the interior of a little chapel, relatively dark, looking toward the open door. A figure was silhouetted in the extremely bright doorway, with parts of the arms and body lost to the brightness, giving, I think, an appropriately ghostlike effect. Of course, I would never submit that to a competition for the reasons you state, above.