You may not find this a helpful answer because it doesn't solve the appearance gap you mention, but more fundamentally, why bother? If you are soft-proofing your image in Photoshop and the print which emerges from your printer is consistnetly a good match to what you see in Photoshop's main image window (not the print preview) on your colour-managed display, why bother with the appearance in the Print Preview window? It's not doing anything to interfere with the quality and predictability of your results, is it?