Rob,
I think you're right in a way: arguing over equipment is almost always the problem when things turn south, but I am not sure it is a uniquely amateur problem. It has more to do with the approach of the individual.
For example, as an amateur, I was hiking Joshua Tree a few months ago, during the "super-bloom," where all the desert flowers come out after the rains, and I came upon a man who was using a large format camera system mounted atop the most incredible tripod I had ever seen. He smiled when he saw me approach (with my Nikons, one with a super telephoto, the other with a wide-angle), and I was fascinated seeing the first large format photographer I have ever met in the wild. We stopped and said, "Hello." The man asked with honest curiosity, "What are you shooting?", and I asked the same of him, each discussing our goals with the other. At no point did I try to tell this man, "You should switch to what I am shooting, because it's lighter," and at no point did this man attempt to explain how much "better" his large format system was at producing large prints than what I was carrying. Instead, we just smiled at the recognition of each other as fellow photographers, we politely inquired as to each other's particulars, and then we parted company on very warm, positive, friendly note.
Another example was just this last Friday: I drove 2 hours to meet with a woman bird photographer, who is involved with rehabilitating the California Condor, and she acted as a guide for me (as we met in her neck of the woods). She shot the Canon 7D II and a light 400mm L lens, and I had my Nikons. At no time did I try to tell her "why" she should switch to what I was using, or vice versa; instead, we had a great time each trying to land shots with the tools we both brought to accomplish the same purpose, pointing out bird-sightings to each other the whole day. We great time together ... and we continued to enjoy each other's company over the weekend ... via the internet ... "liking" each other's images on FB. We plan to meet again in another week, out of a kindred spirit for birding, not over gear.
I am sure these meetings would have turned out much differently, had I pestered these people as to "how much better" my system was than theirs, or had they pestered me in a similar manner. However, by focusing on what we had in common, photography, both of these meetings were enriching.
Having said that, if we revisit the thread sequence, dealing with the Nikon D850 release, what you saw was one person telling Nikon shooters how their cameras are "bricks," and going on and on about how "he would never" carry these bricks again. My mistake was to engage him, rather than ignore him.
In closing, being curious about another photographer's gear is natural. Talking gear with another photographer can often be enlightening. However, trying to force your preferences on another, or scoff at their choices, compared to "yours," is not.
I will try to remember this going forward, so thanks.
