I don't think I'd put much credence in either of those references. Really, in order to make use of what's presented there you'd already have to be proficient enough to not need it.
While Deke's video is interesting, and it does provide a way to keep pure colors as pure as possible, it also craps on the rest of you image, which is something you really don't need for people. I didn't look for the subsequent video about what I'm presuming to be Under Cover Removal or Gray Component Replacement (UCR and GCR), which are common schemes for sucking neutral amounts of cyan, magenta and yellow from the shadows replacing with black - to lower the total amount of ink and help neutrals from shifting on press. You're generally much better off leaving that to the correct profile for your output and not trying to jury rig on top of jury rig.
The Total Ink page is really in reference to the requirements of a specific company and right now you have no idea if that applies to your situation. In addition, if you look at his example, it's clear that he doesn't know what the hell he's doing. He's already at 100 percent black and now he's bumping that up another +3. It can't go higher than 100 percent, but that small bump can certainly affect the near blacks and block them up, sacrificing shadow detail. Not great advice overall.
I would not move forward without getting more definitive information from your printer. It would really suck if you had to make rounds and rounds of proofs to get them looking good on their proofer only to have the whole thing fall apart on press if they can't match their proofs. I would ask them for some actual samples of both proof and final printed piece to see what they mean by "95 percent". If they are unwilling or unable to get you a good profile for their press/proofer, and you're not able to generate a profile on your own, you're sort of in a no win situation. Plus, you may also have a deadline you need to meet.
If you get a proof from them that is at least close, and you are able to go to a physical press check and supervise the process, you should be able to get the press man to make corrections on press that will please you. I would try at least once more, and push to get to the person in charge of prepress at the plant - for the correct profile or at least one that will work for you.
Good luck there. It's clearly not an ideal situation.