Definitely a great "starting point" photograph with much potential to add impact. The clouds and receding mountains work in your favour. But, as it is, with flat lighting, a pale sky, no Dax and little impact, it's very straight forward with little to engage the viewer. Give me five minutes in LR and it could be spruced up (right now, I'm on my iPad, so I won't attempt it).
Dax?Jeremy
Back to the original.
My feeling would be that the original is about as far as you could push a colour version OP, everything else has lacked subtley/realism for me, I preffer your original crop as well, the clouds are much more effective with some blank space above them giving them equal weight to the mountains in the composition.What I might suggest is a monochrome that rather than looking to play up the contrast of the mountain tops instead looks to play up the declining contrast with distance. If you don't mind I did this quick edit reducing contrast of the distant elements and increasing it on the water and closer mountains trying to give more of a sense of distance whilst keeping the subtler nature of the image.
