Luminous Landscape Forum

The Art of Photography => User Critiques => Topic started by: jasonrandolph on September 17, 2009, 11:29:20 am

Title: Shrine to the Fallen, Punchbowl, O'ahu
Post by: jasonrandolph on September 17, 2009, 11:29:20 am

Here's an image I shot last week at the Punchbowl National Memorial Cemetery of the Pacific.  Let me know what you think.

Title: Shrine to the Fallen, Punchbowl, O'ahu
Post by: button on September 17, 2009, 01:55:57 pm

Quote from: jasonrandolph

Here's an image I shot last week at the Punchbowl National Memorial Cemetery of the Pacific.  Let me know what you think.

What- no palm trees?!?!  Just kidding (I like the palm trees )

Seriously, I like this shot, too, especially the near 90 degree angle created by the upper clouds and the line of the top of the wall.  At first, I wasn't sure about the stars in the wall, but you've framed them well, and they add context.

I'm a little unsure about the bottom of the photo: those clouds are pretty bright and a bit distracting.  Also, the lines created by the slightly oblique clouds bottom right are at a slight angle with respect to the relatively horizontal concrete lines in the figure's dress.  This relationship creates a bit of tension, and that might be a good thing (not sure yet).

It's a strong, well executed, dark and brooding shot- you can tell just by looking at the thumbnail.

John

Title: Shrine to the Fallen, Punchbowl, O'ahu
Post by: JeffKohn on September 17, 2009, 02:04:37 pm

I like it; very dramatic. I might prefer to see a little more mid-tone contrast in the stone-work though. The clouds at the bottom work for me, because it gives the impression that she's towering over whatever is below, as if from on high.

Title: Shrine to the Fallen, Punchbowl, O'ahu
Post by: RSL on September 17, 2009, 04:29:39 pm

Jason, What Jeff said. The only other beef I have is that the dark areas and mid-tones appear sepia toned. I think the picture would be even better in neutral black. In any case, it's a dramatic shot.

Title: Shrine to the Fallen, Punchbowl, O'ahu
Post by: jasonrandolph on September 17, 2009, 05:06:33 pm

Thank you all.  I will try and see what I can do with midtone contrast tonight.  I added sepia toning to hint at the amount of time that has passed since WWII, where most of the dead in the cemetery fought.  I'll post a B&W version later for comparison.

@John:  Don't worry, I'm sure the palm trees will be back very soon.  They're just too convenient to ignore for too long!

Title: Shrine to the Fallen, Punchbowl, O'ahu
Post by: John R on September 17, 2009, 08:03:16 pm

Very dramatic. Like many statues she has an "other world" quality. I can see all the creases in her clothes and hair, like a soft shadow look. Very nice.

JMR

Title: Shrine to the Fallen, Punchbowl, O'ahu
Post by: jasonrandolph on September 18, 2009, 01:38:57 am

Here's a neutral version with midtone contrast enhanced.  Which one works best?

Title: Shrine to the Fallen, Punchbowl, O'ahu
Post by: wolfnowl on September 18, 2009, 02:16:59 am

I like the second one much better...

Mike.

Title: Shrine to the Fallen, Punchbowl, O'ahu
Post by: JeffKohn on September 18, 2009, 01:59:33 pm

I like the second one better. I might try to lift the shadows in the statue's eye socket a little bit, though.

Title: Shrine to the Fallen, Punchbowl, O'ahu
Post by: Colorwave on September 18, 2009, 02:02:41 pm

Nice.   Much more unity in the second version.  I found the tonal differences in the lower clouds distracting in the first version.  Perhaps just a bit lighter with the second one, though?

Title: Shrine to the Fallen, Punchbowl, O'ahu
Post by: jasonrandolph on September 18, 2009, 11:47:02 pm

Thank you all for the feedback.  This is the type of constructive criticism that makes me keep coming back for more!