Nope.
Now you just copied Westons original composition.
Where is your OWN thing in it?
It is now technically perfectly executed, but a copy.
Shame on you!
Your initial composition was great - a different composition with magical movement and mystery in it.
Now go back, rinse, repeat ...
Sorry for being harsh, but I had to say it - take it with a grain of salt.
Cheers
~Chris
P.S.: If you see it as an excercise its okay, but I have stricter rules in criticising your images, you're not a beginner after all ...