Well, you're right Rob. I gave them a watered down version!
On a marginally more serious note, if you can honestly say that about HM's government, a word of warning regarding your new backdrop – the background colour has to be either light grey or plain cream ! (what is 'plain' cream – is there any other type of cream ?)
I had the misfortune to submit, in person, photographs with a white background. Jeeez, I got interrogated, almost arrested, but ended up by getting my own back when I asked them, with a straight face, for a discount on the exorbitant fee because I was paying cash. Suffice it to say that they didn't have that inimitable Scottish sense of humour . You can imagine the rest.
Just noticed an additional requirement : 'without anything covering the face' . Reckon it's a straight 50-50 bet whether they'll accept the beard ! 'Merde', as the French say ...
Aha! I've got them on precedent: the passport they'll be replacing (optimism!) is graced with a picture sporting a beard! Well, not that the picture has a beard, but the person in the picture - yours truly - sports said beard. It can become complex if one isn't careful. At least I won't need the assistance/inconvenience of having a bank manager countersign the pix: I'm still as beautiful and recognizable as ever, and so I don't have to prove I'm who I think I am all over again. On the other hand, the beard I had ten years ago can't be the same beard I have now: it must be landfill somewhere. But the one I have now is indeed a clever reconstructuon of the one I had then.
I almost choked on my soup today: looking at the screen up in the corner of the bar, I saw an item stating that young Tommy Cruise has enlisted the Scientologists to arrange an audition for the finding of his next ‘partner’!
Seems they’ve collectively picked out a blonde Danish bimbo… imagine not having the balls to pick your own by yourself from a local pool like L.A.! (Of course, he may have already swum with all the fish - or should that be mammals? – and found them all wanting: wanting this, wanting that…) These rich guys beggar belief. Naturally, there’s always the danger that it’s not true, just Spanish media losing something in the translation. Or finding something – much more likely.
He’ll never find another Penelope. Just like myself and the traded film ‘blads: bad career decision dumping what works. Not to be outdone, I note that the Douglas clan is contesting the mating game publicity stakes too. It’s all falling down… sorry.
I feel rather pleased with myself right now; as I was penning this missive, I also managed to boil some cauliflower, and the floret that I tested tasted rather nice, if boiling hot. Not enough salt, and I did forget the spices, but there you go: ˇMas que nada! Later, with lots of olive oil, a tiny drop of apple vinegar from Germany, more salt and black pepper, it’ll be fabulous! I might even text it off for the entire world to see. At least, it’ll be right colour of background for a passport snap.