what can I do to drive this discussion more off-topic than it already is? Perhaps I can start with a quote from one of my favorite films of all times:
Michele Monet: "Do you speak french?"
Hrundi V. Bakshi: "Enough to bring myself into trouble."
Or a small story: A few years ago I was invited to give a talk about photography at a canadian university. I was asked beforehand what I would need to give the talk. I replied, I only need a beamer because I will bring my laptop. – Silence on the other side of the phone line. Then the reply in a strange tone. I can get you a Volkswagen from a friend, but not a beamer. I replied, I don't need a car, just a beamer. After some back an forth it turned out:
We in germany like to create our own english sounding vocabulary, we call a video projector a "beamer". And some canadians call their BMW cars "beamer" (same word different meaning). So the canadian guy thought this crazy german wants a BMW to drive to the university.
Is this already off topic enough?
Language is not made that we understand each other, it is only there to fill the silence.
You all know "The Situation Is Hopeless, But Not Serious: The Pursuit of Unhappiness", 1983, by Paul Watzlawick. Don't you?
At least they did not give you "ein Gift" when you arrived.