Across the river

[michaelwm]

New member, first upload, be gentle.
I took this last weekend at a rather mundane park between the highway and the airport in Melbourne, the scene grabbed me, mostly due to the glimpse of the green field on the other side through the shrubs. However, I don't think it conveys it properly. Any ideas on what could be done?
Thanks for looking,
Michael

[luxborealis]

With the strong compositional elements, shapes and textures, this photo is a good candidate for black and white. However, I'm not sure even that would convey your original intentions with the photo. While there are strong lines leading in the direction of the green grass and the green grass stands out from the greys of the rest of the photograph, the brightness of the river itself in cutting across the photo acts as a subtle barrier.

[Isaac]

As usual, the displayed size and viewing distance will change the experience.

I didn't experience the creek as a barrier that stopped me looking further into the scene - the diagonal creek side branches break up that potential barrier except for the brighter gap that leads directly to the grassy clearing.

On the contrary, I seem to look at the bright log in the foreground, and quickly skip to that bright creek surface and bright green clearing - without much temptation to look around the rest of the photo.

Maybe if the foreground was sharp right to the bottom of the picture? Maybe if the blue sky reflections extended all across the foreground?

[Riaan van Wyk]

Hello and welcome to the forum Michael.

I'm wondering why the "glimpse of green" in the background should really feature at all in this, for me it's not prominent/ interesting enough to act as an anchor for the rest of the photo.

I would concentrate on the stuff happening in the lower three quarters of the frame- plenty going on to keep the eye engaged with all the lines and reflections- Terry's B&W suggestion might be a worthwhile try then.

 

[Jeremy Roussak]

Hello and welcome to the forum Michael.

I'm wondering why the "glimpse of green" in the background should really feature at all in this, for me it's not prominent/ interesting enough to act as an anchor for the rest of the photo.

I would concentrate on the stuff happening in the lower three quarters of the frame- plenty going on to keep the eye engaged with all the lines and reflections- Terry's B&W suggestion might be a worthwhile try then.

My thoughts exactly: Michael, welcome and get rid of the top third of the photo. All the interest is below the "shoreline". Then try b&w, perhaps bump up the contrast a bit and play with the b&w conversion sliders (or equivalent, if you don't have Lightroom). It might be worth going back on a sunnier day, too.

Jeremy

[michaelwm]

Wow, thanks for all the responses, I did try black and white, but I found that the shrubs before the river and their reflections were too dominant, and the image was too confusing. I'll try some more crops tonight and see if I can restructure the composition to make it tighter.
Thanks a lot for everyones kind comments.
Michael

[michaelwm]

Hi,
I revisited the original, and have included a new crop, which I think is a much stronger composition, and get rid of the out of focus log in the immediate foreground. I've also done a quick B&W conversion, but I think it gets too cluttered, there is too much structure for me. However, looking at it some more, it could be an avenue worth pursuing.
Regarding the light as Jeremy noted, I went there specifically as some heavy clouds were slowly breaking apart, and looked very interesting, the park itself is in a small canyon like valley, with very interesting cliffs in parts. My intention was to get a wider shot with the cliffs ("organ pipes") in the foreground and the amazing clouds, but I got there about 10 min too late, and all had cleared to blue sky.
I also tried cropping without the to third, but I find its just a photo of nothing really then, it didn't do it for me so to speak.
Thanks again for looking

[michaelwm]

And for those interested, here are the organ pipes in nice stark light. I love the texture of the cliffs, it can be really interesting in the right light.