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Author Topic: Ken Rockwell  (Read 31340 times)

Walter Schulz

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Re: Ken Rockwell
« Reply #40 on: February 25, 2012, 05:45:38 am »

Life's too short. I mistakenly thought that this was a site for photography. Recently I have had my doubts.

This very virtual place is called "The Coffee Corner" for a reason, I believe.
"A forum for open discussion of both photographic and non-photographic topics of a general nature."

===

He would joke with hyenas, returning their stare
With an impudent wag of the head:
And he once went a walk, paw-in-paw, with a bear,
“Just to keep up its spirits,” he said.

=== Lewis Carroll "The Hunting of The Snark"

So, come back to the table, please!

Ciao, Walter
« Last Edit: February 25, 2012, 05:47:15 am by Walter Schulz »
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Slobodan Blagojevic

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Re: Ken Rockwell
« Reply #41 on: February 25, 2012, 06:48:57 am »

... The thread has finally reached the level of seriousness worthy of Ken Rockwell ;)

+1

jeremypayne

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Re: Ken Rockwell
« Reply #42 on: February 25, 2012, 07:54:59 am »

Life's too short. I mistakenly thought that this was a site for photography. Recently I have had my doubts.

Man ... what a broken record you've become!  Enough already ...

If the threads bore you ... why do you read them?
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JBerardi

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Re: Ken Rockwell
« Reply #43 on: February 25, 2012, 08:20:07 am »

Life's too short. I mistakenly thought that this was a site for photography. Recently I have had my doubts.

I mean, it's basically the biggest gearhead site out there. There's more discussion of actual photography at DPreview than his site. But, and here's the key part, he pulls the classic trick of preemptively accusing everyone else of being guilty of his own worst crimes. Every photo on his site is like, "hey, look how saturated and sharp this fire hydrant is on my million dollar camera!", and then he turns around and says stuff about how all anyone needs is a Canon Powershot and the rest of the photo world is obsessed with gear and they should be taking art classes and learning technique and color theory, etc. Oh, and by the way, look how friggin' saturated (and sharp!) this stop sign is with his new M9 and Leica Ultracrazylux f 0.3 $28,000 lens is! And while he insists no one should be buying such frivolities, he's kind enough to provide (paid) B&H, Adorama and Amazon links to them. So basically, he does one thing, tells a story about what he's doing that's completely contrary to that, and makes buck off of it every step of the way.

What I'm saying is, he really belongs in politics.
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jalcocer

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Re: Ken Rockwell
« Reply #44 on: February 25, 2012, 08:25:33 am »

What I'm saying is, he really belongs in politics.

Ken for president!  ;)
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Eric Myrvaagnes

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Re: Ken Rockwell
« Reply #45 on: February 25, 2012, 08:56:46 am »

Life's too short. I mistakenly thought that this was a site for photography. Recently I have had my doubts.
The Reverend Charles Lutwidge Dodgson was indeed a photographer, and quite a good one. Though perhaps you were concerned about all this talk of Ken Rockwell. I think the jury is still out on whether he is a photographer.  ;)

Eric
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stamper

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Re: Ken Rockwell
« Reply #46 on: February 25, 2012, 10:59:34 am »

Man ... what a broken record you've become!  Enough already ...

If the threads bore you ... why do you read them?


I am not bored just prefer photographic subjects, Lewis Carrol wasn't into photography? Jeremy you are well named. :) ;D

Rob C

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Re: Ken Rockwell
« Reply #47 on: February 25, 2012, 11:13:26 am »

+1




Slobodan, very subtle. Surreal, even...

;-)

Rob C

Scott O.

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Re: Ken Rockwell
« Reply #48 on: February 28, 2012, 01:41:10 am »

If it is not too late to make a New Year's resolution, I promise to never mention his name again on any and all forums I participate in, either now or in the future! Although I am happy that he has decreed that the 28-300 (which I have) will be the best lens for my expected D800!  ;D

Christoph C. Feldhaim

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Re: Ken Rockwell
« Reply #49 on: February 28, 2012, 03:17:21 am »

If it is not too late to make a New Year's resolution, I promise to never mention his name again on any and all forums I participate in, either now or in the future! Although I am happy that he has decreed that the 28-300 (which I have) will be the best lens for my expected D800!  ;D

This lens is too limited.
You should get the infamous 15-500 f 0.95 Spamalux with the 1.4 extender.
This is simply the best lens of the world and you'll hardly ever need anything additional.
It is razor sharp in my imagination and saves me a lot of money because I only need one lens.
Did I mention its macro function?
You can put a bee on its front lens and get the bees feet sharp like a Japanese knife.
I believe it is sold with a trolley for transportation and an extra pack of painkillers.
 :P

Plug: If you want to support my ever increasing madness I suggest you write a lot of even crazier answers to this rubbish, otherwise happily ignore it.
« Last Edit: February 28, 2012, 03:26:51 am by Christoph C. Feldhaim »
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jalcocer

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Re: Ken Rockwell
« Reply #50 on: February 28, 2012, 08:26:13 am »

This lens is too limited.
You should get the infamous 15-500 f 0.95 Spamalux with the 1.4 extender.
This is simply the best lens of the world and you'll hardly ever need anything additional.
It is razor sharp in my imagination and saves me a lot of money because I only need one lens.
Did I mention its macro function?
You can put a bee on its front lens and get the bees feet sharp like a Japanese knife.
I believe it is sold with a trolley for transportation and an extra pack of painkillers.
 :P

Plug: If you want to support my ever increasing madness I suggest you write a lot of even crazier answers to this rubbish, otherwise happily ignore it.

You forgot the lens hood! :)
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Christoph C. Feldhaim

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Re: Ken Rockwell
« Reply #51 on: February 28, 2012, 09:08:56 am »

You forgot the lens hood! :)

Right.
I forgot.
The lens hood.
The lens hood is a carbon nanotube coated foldable carbon fibre cloth with carbon fibre rods which you can disassemble in astonishing 42 microseconds.
Actually you can also use it as a tent  if you have the accessory piece of roof cloth.

Cheers
~Chris

Eric Myrvaagnes

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Re: Ken Rockwell
« Reply #52 on: February 28, 2012, 09:53:28 am »

This lens is too limited.
You should get the infamous 15-500 f 0.95 Spamalux with the 1.4 extender.
This is simply the best lens of the world and you'll hardly ever need anything additional.
It is razor sharp in my imagination and saves me a lot of money because I only need one lens.
Did I mention its macro function?
You can put a bee on its front lens and get the bees feet sharp like a Japanese knife.
I believe it is sold with a trolley for transportation and an extra pack of painkillers.
 :P

Plug: If you want to support my ever increasing madness I suggest you write a lot of even crazier answers to this rubbish, otherwise happily ignore it.
No, Christoph! That's the wrong extender! I don't know where you got the idea that a stodgy old 1.4 would do the job in the 21st century.

What you need is the state-of-the-art +/-5.6x Spamtastic extender (with both a red ring and a gold ring around it). Personally autographed by K*n R*ckw*ll for only $743,591 additional.   8)
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Bryan Conner

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Re: Ken Rockwell
« Reply #53 on: February 28, 2012, 09:54:58 am »

Right.
I forgot.
The lens hood.
The lens hood is a carbon nanotube coated foldable carbon fibre cloth with carbon fibre rods which you can disassemble in astonishing 42 microseconds.
Actually you can also use it as a tent  if you have the accessory piece of roof cloth.

Cheers
~Chris

you should buy the latest model, I have the MKII version that came with the Carbon Fiber Accessory Cone to be used for safe Lunar Orbit re-entry.
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Christoph C. Feldhaim

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Re: Ken Rockwell
« Reply #54 on: February 28, 2012, 10:13:06 am »

Disclaimer:
My tests are based on the (obviously now outdated) MK I version and first extender which was available at that time. Seems I'm always lagging behind a bit.

What I could find out by searching secret sources in the net in the meantime is, that the MK III will get announced soonish and be shown at the upcoming photokina. It contains a new wobbly lens which is a Bionics design after the eye of the Jabberwock as well as a flexible tube material out of the skin of the beast. The extender will be replaced by a cograil stretcher with a wheel to physically extend the whole lens, so you won't need an additional extender anymore if you have the cograil to stretch the whole MK III design. The cograil is not meant to be used with the MK II or MK I version, because of their non-stretchable material. The special signed editions are not yet announced. What is also not yet clear is, if there will also be a compressor to extend further into the wide angle range or even negative focal lengths by everting the lens ...




Rob C

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Re: Ken Rockwell
« Reply #55 on: February 28, 2012, 12:58:30 pm »

Disclaimer:
My tests are based on the (obviously now outdated) MK I version and first extender which was available at that time. Seems I'm always lagging behind a bit.

 What is also not yet clear is, if there will also be a compressor to extend further into the wide angle range or even negative focal lengths by everting the lens ...




Man, you're lagging more than you thought: you forgot to mention the shark's-penis-skin carrying bag for the limited extender. It's a dual-purpose model and saves you buying an underwater housing. It obviates the need for a polarizer.

Rob C

Christoph C. Feldhaim

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Re: Ken Rockwell
« Reply #56 on: February 28, 2012, 01:05:42 pm »

Rob - now I believe you're kidding!!!
Sharks are fish and not whales and thus don't have a penis.
  :P

EDIT: Did you mean that thing on their rear side which is standing up all the time ? Its called fin, not penis ....
« Last Edit: February 28, 2012, 01:09:04 pm by Christoph C. Feldhaim »
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Bryan Conner

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Re: Ken Rockwell
« Reply #57 on: February 28, 2012, 01:40:50 pm »

Rob - now I believe you're kidding!!!
Sharks are fish and not whales and thus don't have a penis.
  :P

EDIT: Did you mean that thing on their rear side which is standing up all the time ? Its called fin, not penis ....

maybe he was referring to a Whale Shark.
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Slobodan Blagojevic

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Re: Ken Rockwell
« Reply #58 on: February 28, 2012, 01:51:28 pm »

... that thing on their rear side which is standing up all the time?...

All the time!? If it is longer than four hours, they better call a doctor ;)

Rob C

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Re: Ken Rockwell
« Reply #59 on: February 28, 2012, 02:21:39 pm »

Rob - now I believe you're kidding!!!
Sharks are fish and not whales and thus don't have a penis.
  :P

EDIT: Did you mean that thing on their rear side which is standing up all the time ? Its called fin, not penis ....




Chris, it's worse than I'd feared: you actually believe that old fishwives' fib!

I have good friends in the nautical industry and they confirm what I already had from a mermaid (and who'd know better?); it was all personally confirmed by personal research last year when I presented the hard work for my Botticelli Show:

"The Birth of Venus

Always a pale child, Sandro Botticelli would spend hours of the day in solitary walks by the fabled shore, chatting quietly with the mermaids who, taking pity upon the poor kid, would allow themselves to be seen. Nonetheless, sirens to a fish, they would temper their discourse with anecdotes about heroes and other mythical creatures until poor little Sandro, head throbbing, could take no more, and would scurry back to the relative silence of his broken home.

This continued until his fourth birthday when, heavy with a cold, he was confined to quarters. Bored, he wandered around the house until he came upon the wooden ladder to the flat roof, an area forbidden him because of the difficulties a small child might face attempting to challenge the perils of such a thing.

Anyway, since nobody was around and his mother was entertaining some soldiers in the garden, he took the opportunity of going where he had never gone before: up and ever higher, at least to the open trapdoor to the roof. (Now, you must understand that for a four-year-old, wooden ladders do indeed represent a formidable obstacle.) With great care, he climbed until his head just reached the level of the floor outside.

At that point he almost fell right back down. There, on a bed of swan feathers, her feet framing his ears, lay Aunt Leda, snoring and sunbathing naked as a frog, in perfect simulation of the Vitruvian Man in his more athletic mode. At four, such things are inclined to leave an indelible mark upon one’s mind.

And so it was with Botticelli. From then onwards, he saw everything in terms of shells, a condition that stayed with him until the end and gave rise to his most renowned oeuvre: the Birth of Venus. The mermaids saw little of him after that.

© Rob Campbell, 2011"

QED.

« Last Edit: February 28, 2012, 03:54:22 pm by Rob C »
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