No: I would choose to get very close to the subject; and to get all the face inside the frame, I would probably need a wider lens,
You are not sure?? You think you
might need a wide-angle lens, but stitching images with a moderate telephoto lens with a macro facility might be a sensible alternative?
The distorted perspective that you mention does not come from the focal length, it comes from the distance;
It comes from the distance to what, precisely? The distance to the nose? The distance to the eyes? The distance to the ears? The distance to some background object outside the FoV of a longer focal length lens?
the focal length only serves to get back the angle of view that you lost by moving the camera
Who's moving the camera? I thought we were talking about perspective from the same shooting position using different focal lengths of lenses. If you crop the wide-angle shot to the same FoV as the telephoto shot, you've effectively increased the focal length of that wide-angle lens. If you stitch images to increase the FoV, you've effectively reduced the focal length of the system and created a wide-angle lens equivalent, or at least a wider-angle lens equivalent.
If your point is that the actual and nominated focal length marked on the lens has in itself no fixed and unchangeable bearing on the perspective of a processed image, from a given shooting position,
if one can use various strategies to either effectively increase or reduce focal length, such as applying cropping or stitching a number of images together, then I agree completely.
It's the
effective focal length that always counts, not the nominated FL marking on the lens. That's understood surely. The effective focal length of the lens depends not only on the nominated focal length of the lens but the size of the sensor and the final FoV of the processed image.
In summary, the sense of perspective in any image is largely dependent upon two factors; the shooting position and the
effective focal length of the lens, often described in 35mm format terms.