Johannes
I understand what you are saying, but unfortunately I can't imagine what the solution may be, or if what you want is possible. The only workaround I can see is doing exactly as you are, then changing from video to regular liveview once you have focused with the working aperture, changing to the desired shutter speed, and shooting. I realise this is not a practical solution for shooting people or anything that moves, but it is the only thing seems possible. Hopefully someone else can help.