I agree with Mike's comments, I too prefer the first one. Mike's rotation to get the horizon straight also helped a lot (crooked horizons in landscapes are a pet peeve of mine, so not everyone thinks this is as important as I do though).
I think the overall processing needs some work. It's too gray, really needs a little more range of tones. Somewhere in there should be a bright white and a rich black.
I know what you mean with the horizon, I am the same but I obviously messed up here. I did spend some time trying to straighten it when i cropped it down originally but i was using the fog layer as my guide. I did just check now and even that is a bit off. I remember reading here that it's quite often a good idea to leave your images for 3+ months before posting them so you have more chance to look at them... i guess this is a good example
I know it probably depends on the image quite a lot but generally do you straighten your image based on the top horizon or the most parallel lines that are in the image (like for instance a lower mountain range, fog layer or clouds)?
Thanks for the tip about tones, i have always struggled to get B&W images that feature some fog to not look so dull. Is this roughly the sort of thing you mean?
In LR i increase highlights to 89, lights to 11, darks -4, shadows -40 and the B&W red channel -30 (the hills are quite light brown/redish and lowered the contrast a bit to try balance it vs my original boast.
Edit: Opps i mucked up my ratios with the crop, but it shouldn't hurt the comparison of tone.