I sympathise with anyone having trouble getting their print to match the display. There are so many factors that can contribute towards a mismatch. If your monitor is an LCD, merely having the monitor tilted can cause a mismatch.
I'm still using a Sony CRT display because it lends itself admirably to an accurate calibration with the i1 Display2 colorimeter and iMatch software in fully automatic mode. I simply set my monitor to maximum contrast and minimum brightness, and away I go. As easy as falling off a log.
However, this was not always the case. My first colorimeter was the Spyder, and I was using canned profiles with an Epson 1290. I had quite a lot of trouble, similar to what you seem to be experiencing. I needed to make trial prints then adjust the brightness and so on. It was a very unsatisfactory situation.
I now use an Epson 7600, but the canned profiles are rather special because they were made by Bill Atkinson. Apparently the Epson professional printers exhibit less variability than the prosumer dektop models, so a generic profile for a specific paper type and professional printer model can still produce good results.
As regards ambient lighting, there's a distinct difference between the transmissive nature of a monitor and the reflective nature of a print. To take a couple of extreme examples, if you were to make your prints in the evening with the lights off, you would expect the prints to be darker than the monitor when viewed in a dark room. On the other hand, those same prints would look much lighter when viewed in full daylight, and even brighter when viewed in direct sunlight.
Another issue is choice of rendering intent in 'proof setup' and selection of 'simulate paper color' or 'simulate black ink'. My preference is to choose 'simulate paper color', which dulls the image on the monitor considerably, then make adjustments in contrast, brightness and saturation to get the image looking more or less as it looked before I ticked 'proof colors'.
Some photographers seem to prefer 'simulate black ink'. You can't have both.
I should add, I also use the excellent-value Qimage for all my printing. Be aware that you must specify the printer profile, the embedded image profile (sRGB or ProPhoto etc) and the rendering intent, before hitting the 'print' button.