From my collection. Source unrecorded, and cannot be credited.
=====
PHOTOGRAPHICANOMICAL TERMINOLOGY
Photographic -
Using foul language during the photo shoot.
Photomontage -
A double-exposure. "Ah...Yes, I meant to do it like that!"
Photochemistry -
The relationship between a photographer and client.
Photocopy -
One photographer copies another photographer's work.
Photoelectric -
When the safelight falls into the fixer. A shocking development.
Photocell -
Where a photographer is put when he is guilty of bad lighting, poor
focus and sick jokes.
Photoflood -
When the darkroom sink backs up.
Photogram -
The exact weight of an 8x10 inch print.
Photo Journalist -
A photographer who buys Playboy and never reads the articles.
Photomechanical -
One who can build sets, fix props and stick anything together with
gaffers tape.
Photo Sensitive -
Photographers who can't take criticism.
Photostat -
When the client absolutely, positively needs the film overnight.
Polaroids -
Type of hemorrhoids common only to photographers.
Positive -
The photographer's attitude when the client has cash up front.
Negative -
The photographer's attitude when the client demands "Any and all
rights".
4-Color -
The number of rolls of color film it takes to get the correct exposure.
Models -
Exactly that. 'Models' of real people, not to be confused with the real
thing.
Stock Photo -
A photo of a cow.
Colour -
How Europeans see color.
Processing -
Up all night thinking about the next day's assignment.
Viewfinder -
Photographer's car windows, while looking for that perfect location.
Development -
A photographer's formative years.
Lens Aberration -
What some people think of the results achieved by "fine art"
photographers.
Shutter -
A symptom of a photographer's anxiety when "the check is in the mail"
for weeks.
Camera Stand -
A road-side enterprise that sells fresh fruit, vegetables & camera
equipment.
Natural Light -
Type of beer preferred by all photographers.
Available Light -
The type of lighting a photographer claims he must use when he realizes
that he didn't pack a sync cord.
Primary Colors -
Khaki and Denim. The only colors in a photographers wardrobe.
Replenisher -
A break for snacks and drinks in the middle of a rough day of shooting.
Exposure -
What a photographer hopes he will get after spending $25,000 for a
4-page Black Book ad.
Constant Agitation -
What a photographer feels when his assistant just exposed the entire
day's film.
Albumen-on-Glass
A photographic process similar to the cream-cheese-on-rye process that
early photographers used.
Lens Hood -
Robin Hood's cousin who took photos of the rich and sold them to the
National Enquirer.
Auto-Exposure -
Cheating. But nice to have.
Auto-Focus -
Really cheating. But very nice to have.
Auto-Load -
Laziness. But nice to have.
Auto-Rewind -
Really lazy. But really nice to have.
Bellows -
How a photographer calls his assistant after realizing that the
assistant forgot to pack the film.
Bellows Extension -
The same photographer in the above example but using a bull horn to get
his assistant's attention.
Twin lens reflex -
What Paparazzi photographers must use when shooting angered celebrities.
Blur -
What a photographer sees when the client says, "Lets try ONE MORE from
over here".
Boom Stand -
Specialized equipment designed to be at exactly the correct height so
the models and clients will hit their head.
Fixer -
The photographers assistant... hopefully!
Flare -
Refers to a photographer's own personal sense of artistic style.
Freelancer -
Photographer without health insurance and retirement plans.
Grain -
A food that photographers eat daily to decrease reciprocity failure.
Hypo -
The fifth Marx Brother, his hobby was photography.
Reproduction Dupes -
Photographers who believe "The check is in the mail".
Zone System -
Zen meditation photography.
Photo Finish -
The end of a long shoot day.
