Plead to be civil

[feppe]

I'm seeing an increasing number of posts and even threads full of juvenile bickering, pointless off-topic arguing, and a generally increased level of noise. This diminishes the value of this wonderful board, and makes finding insightful and useful information harder.

Fortunately this seems mostly limited to certain individuals, and I have started ignoring them. But we all should actively strive to post only when we can contribute something to LL.

Rather than having a lengthy discussion on the topic here, I urge everyone to do their part in other threads by staying on topic, and avoiding bickering or taking it to PMs.

My contribution is this thread, and the ObPhoto Thread #1 I just started.

[michael]

I'll just add to this plea a recommendation.

Don't write anything on this forum that you wouldn't say to the other person face-to-face sitting in their living room.

With this as a guide, we'll all find this a much more useful and civilized place to exchange ideas.

Michael

[John Camp]

I'll just add to this plea a recommendation.
Don't write anything on this forum that you wouldn't say to the other person face-to-face sitting in their living room.
With this as a guide, we'll all find this a much more useful and civilized place to exchange ideas.
Michael

I've become exceedingly aware in the past few months of the problem in Internet humor -- like a lot of people with a nerdish sense of humor, I find that it doesn't always come across. If you tend to be wry, dry, sarcastic, cynical, provocative, or have a fondness for the ridiculous or absurd, things that would make people laugh when said face-to-face, come off as hostile on the net. And then, some people, who perhaps lack much of a sense of humor at all, will take offense at almost any off-the-wall comment. There's also the problem that a lot of people on forums like these are not native English speakers, and though they may speak excellent English, the may not understand word-play or cultural references that seem ordinary to us. I recently saw a reference to the Spanish Inquisition that got a rather hot reply from a guy from Spain, not knowing that it was a humorous reference to the Monty Python TV show. It's a little sad to have to guard yourself so closely, but being a bit careful would certainly avoid a lot of senseless blowups.

JC

[Christopher Sanderson]

I've become exceedingly aware in the past few months of the problem in Internet humor -- like a lot of people with a nerdish sense of humor, I find that it doesn't always come across. If you tend to be wry, dry, sarcastic, cynical, provocative, or have a fondness for the ridiculous or absurd, things that would make people laugh when said face-to-face, come off as hostile on the net. And then, some people, who perhaps lack much of a sense of humor at all, will take offense at almost any off-the-wall comment. There's also the problem that a lot of people on forums like these are not native English speakers, and though they may speak excellent English, the may not understand word-play or cultural references that seem ordinary to us. I recently saw a reference to the Spanish Inquisition that got a rather hot reply from a guy from Spain, not knowing that it was a humorous reference to the Monty Python TV show. It's a little sad to have to guard yourself so closely, but being a bit careful would certainly avoid a lot of senseless blowups.

JC

Oiyes, oyez, hear-hear!

[jjj]

I'll just add to this plea a recommendation.

Don't write anything on this forum that you wouldn't say to the other person face-to-face sitting in their living room.

With this as a guide, we'll all find this a much more useful and civilized place to exchange ideas.

Michael

That won't always work either as when in real life people ask me for my opinion and I then give my views, they usually take offence if it isn't sycophantic praise.
You see the same thing online as many people simply want others to agree with them and when others proffer alternative and equally valid or simply different views all hell can break loose.

If people were more accepting of a variety of opinions, then that would make for les conflict. Online you are more likely to interact with others whoose views differe as in real life the people you you choose to mix with tends to self select to those of a similar mindset. Hence whuy online forums can become very fractious.
There are local forums for towns in the UK where you get a real variety of people mixing and there is constant bickering between the racists and the non-racists  who in real life would rarely meet and discuss such divisive topics.

But then there are complete jerks who don't understand or are not interested in a reasoned debate or heaven forbid facts. But the biggest cause of internet bickering are the people who don't read posts properly and then reply with equal lack of thought to their own replies. I gave up on LL for a while due to the plethora of such illiterate fools. I always read and reread before replying, just to try and make sure I don't misread the post or the tone of the post.  So I only read forums as a break and when I'm not distracted by anything else. Too many people very obviously fire off quick replies whilst they are meant to be working and not wittering online.

[Rob C]

[quote name='jjj' date='Nov 16 2008, 03:13 AM' post='237268']
ts. But the biggest cause of internet bickering are the people who don't read posts properly and then reply with equal lack of thought to their own replies. I gave up on LL for a while due to the plethora of such illiterate fools.



Futt Futt, we don´t always - or often - agree, but I have to say that you are spot-on here.

You might have read such a series of incidents some time ago over on the MF side of life - the published images bit - which made me sick of the whole thing for a while because being attacked without cause is not acceptable behaviour.

But life moves on and the good bits outweigh the bad, so I returned to LuLa with fresh hope.

Rob C

[jani]

I agree, naturally, but I'd like to add just a little bit about human nature.

I'm sometimes a bit of a hothead. When I'm "hot", I lose some of my better judgment. That may be enough to not recognize those moments that one shouldn't post, that one should pick different words, or, indeed, that the other guy's words can be read in a different way.

I think that if we also recognize this part of human nature, we can also get along better.

[Robert Roaldi]

I'm sometimes a bit of a hothead. When I'm "hot", I lose some of my better judgment. That may be enough to not recognize those moments that one shouldn't post, that one should pick different words, or, indeed, that the other guy's words can be read in a different way.

This is normal human behaviour. When it happens face-to-face, what's "hot" in one instant turns into a laugh two minutes later and the conversation continues. When you write something "hot" in a forum, those words stay there forever and so the reaction to that is different. You never get to have that laugh two minutes later. Probably, all we need to do is wait (1 hour, 1 day,...) before replying and that will enough to remove some heat.

Forum threads are a peculiar way to communicate, after all, a cross between conversation and letter-writing.

[jani]

Probably, all we need to do is wait (1 hour, 1 day,...) before replying and that will enough to remove some heat.

The problem is that when "the heat is on", it waiting before responding may not be the first priority.

I've spent around 15 years on online forums, and I've seen the same behaviour - in the extreme - thousands of times.

But yes, cooling off may help, as may not responding in kind.