Recent Professional Works

[Rob C]

Hi CB

Glad we sorted that one out. Keith's a better chicken sexer than am I; some unversities spend too much money providing students with the basis for bad manners. It'll never catch on in Britain: we haven't the money to burn at the alter of Sloth.

;-)

Dude.

[dmerger]

Rob, unfairly calling someone an asshole is not exactly good manners.  Perhaps an apology to Ms. Asshole is in order?   

[Rob C]

Rob, unfairly calling someone an asshole is not exactly good manners.  Perhaps an apology to Ms. Asshole is in order?  

Dear Ms A,

I apologise for putting you in the same sentence as the word asshole when, clearly, that job description resides with the art director who, unsure of the function of the 'ottoman', put you into such an incriminating and undignified situation. I know perfectly well that you would never, in real life, even think of putting your boots, clean, dirty or even just polished onto any form of fabric that might, just might, suffer consequential damage and/or contamination by shoe polish, street dirt, dog dirt or even - assuming this isn't Singapore - chewing gum. That such contamination might possible affect another person's wellbeing would obviously be foremost in your mind, as surely it was in mine.

Personally, I really love ladies with long hair, but there you are, takes all sorts to make up this wonderful meld of humanity of which I'm sometimes happy to be part. Reminds me of the 60s when the Beatles and the Stones 'liberated' us males from the tyranny of the short-back-and-sides; I remember hearing a person in a shop remark to another: you can't tell the men from the women these days! What an idiot! I never had any such problems: I just went to a model agency and they sorted it all out quite quickly and my clients were never disappointed or unduly surprised with the 'talent', as it's called these days.

So again, I'm sorry for the confusion I must have caused!

I kneel at your feet, head bowed and remorse filling my lungs with despair.

Rob C

[Slobodan Blagojevic]

Rob,

If you think architects, interior designers and art directors do sometimes crazy stuff, wait till you see what this guy did:

Glass Floored Bathroom Built Directly over an Empty Elevator Shaft

[Rob C]

Love away, Rob, Ms A has long hair.

You know Ms A, Keith? It must be another picture.

Rob C

[Rob C]

Rob,

If you think architects, interior designers and art directors do sometimes crazy stuff, wait till you see what this guy did:

Glass Floored Bathroom Built Directly over an Empty Elevator Shaft

He should be sentenced to spending his life in that room.

We did a shoot for a holiday brochure and had to go to Torremolinos. We were assigned room 13 on the 13th floor of some hotel block; the lift wasn't cleverly timed, and we'd wait for ages for it actually to come up to our floor, making breakfst a problem. But, worse, was the bed: it overhung space on some sort of cantilevered, triangular glass-walled platform that scared the living out of me; probably the perfect place to have that bathroom en suited! Maybe it was actually meant to be a terrace but they changed their minds or realised there wasn't space for a bed inside the room. I hate tourism too. Now, I feel a little bit better!

I fear these vertiginous places; could never cope with the States or even the famous Eiffel - happy to stay near the floor.

Rob C

[ChristopherBarrett]

Totally.  We almost always shoot the version without people first.  I usually retouch that version (including any HDR work) and then drop the people into it.  In this particular case (the girl and the ottoman) the Architect only wanted the populated version and didn't think the space worked without people.  I agreed.

[Scott Hargis]

Ditto all of the above. Rarely if ever do I get professional talent, but oh, man -- what a difference it makes. You can get EXACTLY what you want, for as many takes as you need.
Finish the shot first, then put the people in for an alternate version, let the client pick between the two. I often find myself building proof galleries so they can choose the one where the human is doing exactly the right thing.

[Rob C]

Exactly, Rob.

Just scroll up to CB's other images in the series and all will be revealed.

Goodness me! Unless my peepers decive me (not unknown!) the lady has just changed her trousers, too. In one shot they are quite a dark colour and in the controversial shot, pale!

I suspect I'd best leave it there.

Rob C

[Rob C]

As an observation on ottomans and general civility/politeness: this morning, whilst chewing the cornflakes and catching up with bits of news on tv, a commercial came on for KFC. There they were, the perfect family, most of them with feet up on the coffee table, munching on their 'food'.

I guess that says it all. But then, if folks are willing to be patrons of a company that sells and advertsies so-called food in a 'family bucket' what can either they or we expect?

Ciao -

Rob C

[ondebanks]

I guess that says it all. But then, if folks are willing to be patrons of a company that sells and advertsies so-called food in a 'family bucket' what can either they or we expect?

Ever see this episode of "The I.T. crowd" (not sure if it's shown outside Ireland & UK?) -

At 04:35
Jen: What are you eating anyway?
Roy: It's a bucket of fried chicken. And it comes in a real bucket.

[He holds up a large agricultural black plastic bucket, labelled "Chicken Feast"]

 
Ray

[Rob C]

Ever see this episode of "The I.T. crowd" (not sure if it's shown outside Ireland & UK?) -

At 04:35
Jen: What are you eating anyway?
Roy: It's a bucket of fried chicken. And it comes in a real bucket.

[He holds up a large agricultural black plastic bucket, labelled "Chicken Feast"]

 
Ray

Thanks for confirming my sanity at a time when I thought I was the only sane one left or the only crazy amongst us here!

Rob C

[Rob C]

They're not the perfect family, they're the perfect ill mannered, junk food loving, bucket slurping, KFC family, cast to attract other ill mannered, junk food loving, bucket slurping, KFC families.

Deep breaths, Rob.

;-)

Deep breaths, the man says, deep breaths! I'm facing the eye hospital tomorrow at 9.30; the community gardener seems to have left us with a friggin' jungle; the Internet deal I struck with Telefonica that was to give me WiFi, more free Spanish tv channels (I don't watch any, most of the time) and other goodies more than I was getting under my existing contract turns out, over the time I've had it, to be ten euros a month more expensive, when I'd only changed over because I was told it was going to save me a lot of money each month!!!! Tomorrow, if I'm still sane after the eye-doc, I shall face another battle, in their shop, with Telefonica. Guess who won't win!

Adding insult to injury, the guy who fitted the WiFi on Telefonica's behalf was so bad that I ended up paying a private firm just under two hundred euros to sort it all out!

On today's invoice from Telefonica, I see that the fine print offers me up to 6Mb of Internet speed; using speedtest.net I see I'm really getting 3.83 of the damned things! I don't expect to win that one, either.

Deep breaths, deep breaths, deep breas... sweet, deep dreams!

Rob C

P.S. More deeeep breaths.

Set off for the hospital this morning, concerned at the lack of traffic which made me think that unemployment on the island must be really, really bad. The carpark was fairly empty, and then I found the restaurant was closed, as was Reception. I sat down and pondered, pulled out the cellphone and looked at the date: wrong effin’ day! The appointment’s tomorrow.

On getting home, fears of Alzheimer’s etc. storming through my brain as I drove, I had an instant check of the calendar: yep, red days, blue days, black days, saints for every day of the week and Moons. Moons, don’t mention the Moons! There are so many of them it must be a product designed for astronomers. However, the day was still the wrong day.

Ironic, that having designed, shot and produced so many calendars, I end up with a nightmare freebie from the grocer…

Oh well, my reward must be waiting for me somewhere.

[Dick Roadnight]

Jen: What are you eating anyway?
Roy: It's a bucket of fried chicken. And it comes in a real bucket.

[He holds up a large agricultural black plastic bucket, labelled "Chicken Feast"]

 
Ray

Being creative now seems to necessitate being unacceptable to the Robs and mes of the world...

...good ideal for a stock shot would be teenagers eating chips ¿or silage? out of a trough in a posh restaurant?

[leeonmaui]

Three new pieces going into proofing.

[leeonmaui]

North shore

[leeonmaui]

I like this one best

[HarperPhotos]

"I like this one best"


Beautiful!

[nik]

Looks like a cure for constipation in my book...

-Nik

Rob,

If you think architects, interior designers and art directors do sometimes crazy stuff, wait till you see what this guy did:

Glass Floored Bathroom Built Directly over an Empty Elevator Shaft

[Rob C]

Looks like a cure for constipation in my book...

-Nik

You mean as in instant, dry enema?

Rob C