Michael, I´m not surprised you won´t take it swimming; perhaps it might take YOU swimming!
As far as the Submariner goes, even if I hadn´t thought of wearing it in the ocean and such watery places, it still appealed to me originally on the strength of its design. That was the first attraction and still is, for me, though I have to say, it does lend one a certain status in some circles. I´ve no probelm with that: if I can´t sing, I might as well have something going for me!
On the other hand, - or should that have been wrist? - the much more expensive gold ones don´t ring my chimes. As you go too far up the cost range you get into the diamond studded zone which makes the wearer look a little like a bookie (a turf accountant in US parlance, perhaps?), more nouveau riche than anything else.
Of course, was I able to afford one, I might view matters differently.... no, I don´t really think so.
Ciao - Rob C