This is exactly the type of deconstructive, navel-gazing nonsense that would have turned me right off becoming a photographer had I been exposed to it or, worse, forced to digest it.
Reading this now tells me as clearly as is possible that you either have an eye for a picture or you do not. If you require these kinds of spritual assists, then you should try golf instead. At least it's supposedly good exercise for the heart.
Which is all a terrible pity, because some of the accompanying photographs, left in peace to be what they are, are very good work indeed.
Rob