Well, no matter how you position the GND, the transition is still a straight line. Whether you need a 2 or 3 stop is based on the dynamic range of the scene - regardless of a 2 or 3 stop, you're problem isn't going away. The situation you describe is the primary weakness of a GND, bright sky in the centre, framed by trees (or other objects) on the edge - so you really need a customizable "U" shaped GND - not going to happen.
GNDs have their strengths and weaknesses, but so does the blended exposure technique of dealing with high contrast. The situation you describe is best handled by bracketing and subsequent processing in PS. Lots of tools/techniques available for that.
Your sensor size has nothing to do with whether or not the filter should be hard or graduated.
The aperture will affect depth of field and exposure time, but neither of those variables will help you deal with a high dynamic range situation, and I can't see that aperture would have any significant relationship with hard vs graduated. Don't forget that by f22 diffraction will have started to become a factor, so while the dof gets greater the overall sharpness will start to be impacted.