I do not know if I will be out of the idea of the thread but I am about to write anyway. Excuse me if I am wrong and out of line.
I rarely go out with the camera.
I see no motivation in everyday routine. However, when I have a special idea in mind, then yes, I pick up the camera with what is supposed to be the right lens for the set and there I go.
I tend to make most of the time the same kind of photography. Many black and white - like old guys do, naturally - and some in color.
I have had in the last years ambitions of exposing and earning some money. LOL On the contrary. I have spent money. Not earned.
I have been exposed in LA and published in US. That was very good and I am proud of it !
But... but... suspense... I never stop reasoning about ways to escape what I call the mediocrity of some people I see around me.
I have now in mind a very crazy project involving institutions of solidarity and another one involving plants (factories). Oh, oh ! Will I have the right contacts ? Will I be able ? With whom I am supposed to make friendship to accomplish such a huge task ?
I do not know how to answer these questions. But I am already working on something that I ... eventually, see realized by the end of next year.
I know in every door to get what I want !
Thank you for reading these lines ! 
Hi Antonio, you are perfectly aligned!
Yes, mediocrity is a pain, but then we live in an imperfect world, and the worst part is knowing the depth to which the level below the mid-point line can dip. But again, it comes to yet a further question: if you were drowning and some illiterate offered his hand to pull you back onto a boat, would you scorn him then? And who gives us the accurate measure of ourselves? Not our friends, and certainly not our foes.
And that's why I tend to keep my distance from any group that I am likely to bump into in person; I hate the feeling of being trapped into clubs, of having to start to make regular appointments with people, run the risk of having to discuss their divorces and how rotten women are when I have seldom found that to be the case. As for golf or football - how, why?
You may have a point about old guys getting into a rut just because they
are old guys, but if it's true, perhaps it's because they have already tried out all the false, dead end paths before and found no joy on any of them.
Partly, there's pleasure to be had from looking at the work of other people, but in my case, most of the ones that grab my attention were in the same section of the business as was I, and that is over - you can't do it alone. I do feel that I have exhausted my own ability to do anything new here; perhaps going to the capital of the island offers more interesting people to snap, more exciting shops windows etc. but it's two hours of driving to get there and back, and the reward only lasts as long as the shooting. Once I've done that, the rest is pretty much routine and not particularly exciting to do. In fact, I have been challenging myself to make something beyond what I see in reality, just to allow myself the little illusion of self-deception that it all has some meaning, some importance which, of course, it does not. The thing is, in pro life, once I made up a good portfolio, I ended up having neither the time not the inclination to do anything that didn't come with an invoice I could post. Even the concept of portfolio became redundant: nobody wanted to see it - I just got the work almost by reflex. It wasn't like today, where I suppose only a handful of huge stars find it works like that for them, the rest fighting like dogs for every gig.
I do usually tote a camera along 'just in case' and that's how pretty much everything happens now. But the last few days I have been on strike. I just can't be bothered with the weight, the inconvenience and the screaming boredom that every place that's still open for winter brings. I feel I have shot everything in the neighbourhood to death. I would love to find something to use my 500 cat. lens for, but it needs a tripod (heavy one) and apart from a beautiful, flat and empty sea that gives the backlight sparkle the low winter sun has, and that the lens needs for its effects,
there's nothing happening on that sea! I can't bear the though of another empty stage, just like my landscape attempts!
Rob C
