Composition seems good, but it needs snap, micro contrast in the shadows, pop in the clouds. In LR/ACR, add some contrast and pump-up the clarity slider. I personally use Nik Silver Efex which even the presents do wonders for my b&w conversions and in color, use the b&w conversion as a luminance mask to "pop" my images.
This is a good start and it's now a matter of working it a little, to fine-tune the craft of you image and I think you will get what you are looking for.