I think one of the greatest misconceptions of color-managed printer workflows is that they will just... work. Get yourself a nice monitor, profile it with a Spyder or an i1, use good printer profiles, pay attention to color management throughout the workflow, and you're good to go.
Didn't work for me. For years I'd see variance between what I saw on the screen - on my dutifully profiled monitor - and what came out of the printer. What you end up doing is, like Ctein, throwing darts at the wall. Something eventually works. Usually.
The epiphany for me was nine months ago when I bought two things I had resisted for years and years: An Eizo CG monitor; and a GTI viewing station.
I used Dell monitors for many years. And then Apple. Great panels, I thought. Evaluating prints was done in, well, whatever decent light I could find.
What I discovered was that the "color-managed" workflow I had carefully applied for so many years... wasn't so much. It was a revelation to find that you can, indeed, have a soft proof sitting there on your monitor and that what soon comes out of your printer is so close it's almost eerie. Instead of throwing darts at a wall - "let's print this one and see if it's any better" - you make changes in your editing software. You may or may not like what is staring back at you, at what the soft proof is telling you - Jeff Schewe in his book aptly called the soft proof option "make my print look like shit," or words to that effect. But the job of a proper soft proof is to impose the same constraints on contrast and dMax and luminosity that that paper you've chosen is going to give you. Its job is to be honest.
There are a bunch of crazy good monitors out there nowadays. 4K and retina and all that other good stuff.
Only, they ain't. To my knowledge, there are only two monitors sold to consumers that will accurately render pretty much all of aRGB, at the luminance and contrast levels that paper will ultimately present: the NEC Spectraview and the Eizo CG.
Ctein needs a new monitor.