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Author Topic: A touch of humor  (Read 100851 times)

kikashi

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #520 on: September 18, 2017, 03:26:57 AM »

.

Jeremy
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Eric Myrvaagnes

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #521 on: September 18, 2017, 09:40:03 AM »

Nice one, Jeremy.
But the non-science folks here won't get it.

Eric
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-Eric Myrvaagnes    (A sampler of my new book is on my website.)
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kikashi

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #522 on: September 18, 2017, 02:09:41 PM »

Nice one, Jeremy.
But the non-science folks here won't get it.

Explanations are available, for a most modest consideration.

Jeremy
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degrub

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #523 on: September 18, 2017, 07:23:18 PM »

perhaps a piece of pi  ?
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Slobodan Blagojevic

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #524 on: September 18, 2017, 07:37:27 PM »

Appropriate for a coffee corner:
perhaps a piece of pi  ?

Or high?

PeterAit

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #525 on: October 19, 2017, 05:10:23 PM »

Four Europeans are on a wilderness trek and run out of food and water.

"I am so thirsty," says the Englishman, "I must have tea."

"I am so thirsty," says the Frenchman, "I must have wine."

"I am so thirsty," says the German, "I must have beer."

"I am so thirsty," says the Jew, "I must have diabetes."

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Peter
"Photographic technique should always be a means to an end and never the end itself."

kikashi

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #526 on: October 29, 2017, 02:47:46 PM »

Seen (by my daughter) on Instagram.

Jeremy
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Rob C

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #527 on: October 29, 2017, 03:18:41 PM »

Seen (by my daughter) on Instagram.

Jeremy

Very cool! Strikes me as stereotypically French, but I'm just going on instinct with that. My education leaves a lot to be desired.

;-(

Rob

Eric Myrvaagnes

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #528 on: October 29, 2017, 08:29:17 PM »

Very cool indeed.

(And the knowledge of French required isn't beyond what I needed to pass my foreign language exam as part of the process of becoming a docteur [en philosophie].)   ;)
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-Eric Myrvaagnes    (A sampler of my new book is on my website.)
http://myrvaagnes.com  Visit my photo website (Server is back up). New images each season. Also visit my new website: http://ericneedsakidney.org

PeterAit

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #529 on: November 18, 2017, 01:10:18 PM »

Heard while in Cuba:

When the Pope visited Cuba recently he wanted a private tour of Havana, so the President sent him a limo and driver. It turns out that the Pope loved to drive, but he was never allowed to. Here was his chance! He asked the driver to sit in the back while he drove.

The Pope got excited while driving and went too fast - he was pulled over by a policeman. The cop looked at the man in the back and then at the driver.

"You are the Pope!"

"Yes"

"I must call my chief."

The cop calls in. "Chief, I stopped a limo for speeding but the passenger is very important and I do not know what to do."

"Who is the passenger?"

"I don't know."

"Then how do you know he is so important?"

"He's got the Pope as his chauffeur."
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Peter
"Photographic technique should always be a means to an end and never the end itself."

Rob C

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #530 on: December 02, 2017, 03:54:00 AM »

You can now get insurance for sex in the UK!
It's best to make sure you get the correct insurance for the type of sex you are having.

Please find below a list of companies below catering for most tastes:-
 
Sex with your wife - Legal & General
 
Sex on the telephone - Direct Line

Sex with your partner - Standard Life

Sex with someone different - Go Compare

Sex with a lady of generous proportions - More Than
 
Sex with a prostitute - Commercial Union

Sex with your maid - Employer's Liability

Sex with an old age pensioner - Saga

Sex resulting in pregnancy - General Accident

and finally…….
 
Sex with a transvestite - Confused.com

Make sure you are adequately covered!
 
I'm not sure about it -  I'm with a company by the name of  'One Call'  - and it doesn't work!
 

Rob C

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #531 on: December 02, 2017, 04:03:13 AM »

Apple has done it again!

Apple has today announced it has developed a chip that can store and play music in women's breast implants.

The new iTit wil cost between $ 499 and $ 699, depending on speaker size.

This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women have always complained about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.
« Last Edit: December 02, 2017, 01:54:13 PM by Rob C »
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PeterAit

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #532 on: December 02, 2017, 03:06:12 PM »

You can now get insurance for sex in the UK!


Is there insurance for no sex <g>?
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Peter
"Photographic technique should always be a means to an end and never the end itself."

Slobodan Blagojevic

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #533 on: December 02, 2017, 03:09:42 PM »

Is there insurance for no sex <g>?

Maybe not, but you'd get a "no accident" or "safe driver" discount on any other policy ;)

LesPalenik

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #534 on: December 02, 2017, 10:02:37 PM »

When the equipment is not in use, most insurance companies offer now seasonal coverage. You can remove the traffic, liability and accident benefits insurance.

Slobodan Blagojevic

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #535 on: December 02, 2017, 10:16:23 PM »

When the equipment is not in use, most insurance companies offer now seasonal coverage...

Any insurance against shrinkage?

LesPalenik

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #536 on: December 03, 2017, 12:11:39 AM »

You are in luck, Slobodan

Quote
The National Science Foundation awarded Analysis & Inference two consecutive grants to find new statistical methods for classifying risks taken on by insurers. A+I statisticians conducted research on state-of-the-art statistical analysis, focusing on (Bayesian) "shrinkage" estimation, to determine better ways to form classes of risks and to estimate the probabilities and amounts of claims arising from the classes. The work was recognized in publications of articles in top statistical journals.

Some companies are very strict about this matter. For example, manager of a retail store is allowed only 1% shrinkage.
When it comes to insurance, some insurance companies announced shrinkage also in health insurance coverage.

Rob C

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #537 on: December 03, 2017, 07:23:17 AM »

Any insurance against shrinkage?

Yes! Thermal underwear and a thick, wooly sock.

Rob

petermfiore

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #538 on: December 03, 2017, 07:30:51 AM »

Yes! Thermal underwear and a thick, wooly sock.

Rob

Ah, the proverbial helping hand...

Peter
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Rob C

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Re: A touch of humor
« Reply #539 on: December 03, 2017, 12:34:54 PM »

Ah, the proverbial helping hand...

Peter


Well, made a lot of rock stars look larger than life, and at twelve, little girls believe anything.

:-)

Rob
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