I don't think you've got it quite right yet -- although you may (I may not understand what you're saying.)
Shooting RAW means that some in-camera parameters don't count for as much -- white balance, for example. If you note something white or a neutral grey in your shot, and can click on it later in Photoshop, then your specific in-camera white balance won't matter if you're shooting RAW. However, other camera parameters, like shutter speed and and lens stop, matter a great deal. If you underexpose or overexpose by six stops, shooting RAW, you can't adjust in Photoshop because the data is not there. If the data is not there, shooting RAW does not help. In other words, if you way overexpose, and flood the sensor with light, the RAW file will include lots of blown out areas, and the data that would be there with a proper exposure simply isn't there.
As far as the embedded .jpg goes, the fact that it's the .jpg being measured doesn't mean much. The histogram measures exposure (not sharpening) and what counts is the calibration (in your brain) of the relationship between the histogram and what you eventually see in RAW. If you expose properly, and have your in-camera calibration turned to high sharpen, then take your RAW file to Photoshop, the file will not be sharpened. It'll simply reflect an exposure. You can then sharpen as you wish. If your camera is set to RAW+.jpg (as some can be) and to high sharpen, then the RAW file will still be untouched, and the .jpg file will reflect sharpening. If the camera is set to .jpg only, then the file will be sharpened and to some extent, you're stuck with that. If, for example, you'd want to shoot a portrait of a young woman who happened to have some skin blemishes, and your camera was set .jpg-only, the blemishes would be emphasized and you'd have a harder time correcting that in Photoshop than if the exposure was more neutral, as in RAW.
Does that make sense?
JC