Luminous Landscape Forum
The Art of Photography => User Critiques => Topic started by: mikeseb on December 15, 2005, 08:10:12 pm
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(http://msphoto.smugmug.com/photos/48451247-L.jpg)
Tarp fluttering in gusty winds on a cold, bright winter midday. Contax 645, 80mm, Delta 400/Xtol, Nikon 8000 film scanner, for those who wonder.
All thoughtful comments appreciated.
I guess it isn't really winter yet....
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Reminds me of a Christos installation.
Not keen on the clutter of the foreground - that is what keeps drawing my eye - and you want the eye going up - left, not bottom centre. Maybe crop 3/4 of the foreground - and maybe burn a bit of the snow that's left to tone down the contrast?
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I like it. The tonal range and the texture on the tarp is great. It gives the scene great depth. I can appreciate the shot with or without the foreground--on balance I would probably prefer to have a little cropped off the bottom. There are a few areas along the left side of the tarp that appear to have the highlights blown out and that might have more impact if you could hold some detail.
It made me smile to see that the shot was taken with film. My darkroom equipment is gathering dust but your results look great.
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I would crop out the crap on the bottom, it distracts me.
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I will crop all, except the hole to the right to see what is inside.
BlasR
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I'd also get rid of the stuff on the bottom of the frame; it detracts from the interesting abstractness of the tarp.
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(http://msphoto.smugmug.com/photos/48559661-M.jpg)
Thanks to all who have replied.
Here is the same image with the "distracting crap" cropped off of the bottom. I had thought that stuff helped add scale, but I agree that the crap-free, more abstract version is quite an improvement. The whole thing reminded me of a spinnaker and masts, and the shimmering highlights bouncing on the plastic flapping in the wind was way cool looking. I let the highlights to upper left burn to white because that's my visual recollection of how they looked.
Here is a wide shot of the whole site to give you an idea what it looked like:
(http://msphoto.smugmug.com/photos/48560456-S.jpg)
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This is a nice shot, especially as cropped; however, it does not depict your verbal description as a "Tarp fluttering in gusty winds...". Would a slower shutter speed have shown the "flutter" or just made a huge blur?
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All good ideas, but I was struck by the possibilities in the whole frame image. The interplay of round, billowy shape and repeating rectangles intrigued me. Also, the original crop seemed to lose the advantage of camera position. The crop I did carries for me a bit more "story" and mystery, and in it I used the "crap at the bottom" as a kind of anchor--there seems to me something of the image of a sailing vessel here.
Thanks, Michael, for a stimulating image for all of us to interact with!
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I also like the wide shot, although it is more of a record and less impressionistic. You had a good insight to see the possibilities in that site, which looks like it would be enjoyable to explore photographically.
Gordon, maybe "billowing" would be a better description. The curve of the tarp certainly suggests the force of the wind. Trying to show motion would detract from the textures and contrasts.
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Gordon, Randy, and John: this whole dialog is a fabulous example of the value of thoughtful criticism, which I have despaired of finding elsewhere on the web, and I thank you for your ideas.
I find myself drawn to construction/demolition sites for their angles, textures, and tones; their ordered randomness (?), and the hint of desolation that clings to them. This site was a rich vein of photographic possibility, not a half mile from my home.
"Billowing" is indeed the description I couldn't conjure up on this occasion; I wanted a fast enough shutter speed so that the texture and highlights of the tarp would show individually, since they were what intrigued me most, apart from the overall nautical shape. (It would be interesting to explore at slow shutter speeds to see what motion blur might achieve. A project for today, another cold clear day here.)
I also had thought of the stuff at bottom as an anchor, and the sailing-ship metaphor occurred to me right away as well. I think Randy has executed it well--his is the best crop I've seen of this image.
I really love this stuff--guess I have way too much time on my hands.
One more angle on this scene, one I decided I didn't like as much as others, just for entertainment purposes, as it's not a finished product. I'll leave you guys alone now I swear!
(http://msphoto.smugmug.com/photos/48603777-S.jpg)
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Yes, this was a fun and useful conversation. Michael, you despair of finding responses like this on the web, and I know what you mean. But do give a try to a new site Michael Reichmann alerted us to a few weeks back The Radiant Vista (http://radiantvista.com). It is a splendid new venture with a great concept behind it, and Craig Tanner's approach to their daily critique of submitted images is a model of encouragement, skill, and decorum.
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I've added RV to may daily scan - it's a great concept!!